A Reminder Article for African-American Women Sitting Around Wondering Why She Have Nobody to Love…

nobodytolove While we self-made and successful brothas are out here enjoying our accomplishments and the good life we created putting in hard work and believing in ourselves, there are plenty of sistas just sitting at home alone with nobody to love. Many of these lonely ass sistas are sitting at their crib by themselves pouting why we good stable brothas don’t want nothing to do with their behind anymore and why we be smiling while hollering at these thick chicks up in Brazil, China, Japan, Korea, Columbia, Nicaragua and the sistas up in United Kingdom. And if we accomplished brothas are checking chicks here in America, we messing with the Catholic Latinas, East European immigrants, the Lebanese and Turkey chicks and blasians – yall know we brothas love some blasians especially up in Los Angeles! Well, the problem is these African-American women have a slight case of amnesia about what the fuck these sistas done that cause the downfall of black relationships and how she help made it impossible for her to have a good brotha to chase her, flirt with her, ask her out, do quirky things to get her attention and make her laugh, send her flowers, compliment her even when she having a bad day and pick her up from the couch and carry her to the bed to fall asleep while he go back downstairs and pay the household bills and watch the kids. So when the sistas want to get mad at us brothas walking around Ikea near Atlantic Station or Phipps Plaza with our Asian girlfriend and we smiling all up in her face with our non-black girlfriend, these sistas need to kind of remember exactly what the fuck she done to us good brothas resulting in her sitting up there all alone at night with nobody to love. So with that said, let’s kind of remind these sistas what they done.. Conspired with Pro-Choice Movement to Murder Black Babies. The sistas worked in tandem with planned parenthood to kill black babies and not give them a chance at life in order to help Planned Parenthood promote their quiet genocide of so-called “unwanted babies” and it is well documented the founder of Planned Parenthood saw black babies as “unwanted” and wanted to kill off as many black babies as she can through legalized abortions. Conspired with Government to Remove Black Fathers from Households. The government gave the sistas a welfare check and housing in the projects and told her she could not have a man in the household. The sistas basically sold out the father of her children for EBT and Section 8 subsidies to stay in roach-infested crowded housing projects. Her actions crippled the chance for her black children to grow up and be somebody and chosen to have her kids to grow up under those harsh ghetto life conditions with little chance of her kids growing up and getting a good life. Conspired with Law Enforcement to Attack Black Men. It was black women who started “swatting” by calling the cops on brothas claiming he is a violent person when all he did was ask her to turn the television down. I knew a brotha who went into his house and saw his wife screwing another dude and she called the cops and lied saying he attacked her and the dude she was screwing and the cops roughed up the dude who owned the house and the wife had him kicked out of his own house. couldbeus Conspired with Media to Denigrate Black Men. Black women started supporting Tyler Perry who was writing scripts attacking masculine black men where sistas would pour a pot of hot grits on a brotha and she laughing all loud in the theatre at that scene. Then the sistas started this whole “swirling” fad of fantasizing about cheating with a white man and supporting a TV show call “Scandal” and basically disrespect the current First Lady in the White House, a real sista and also alienated good brothas who respect the First Lady. Then you sistas watch these ignorant reality TV shows feature sistas fighting each other. And when the DJ at a club play music calling black women hoes and bitches, the sistas don’t protest, they go on the dance floor and start twerkin disrespecting themselves in front of good brothas watching and observing. Chosen Thugs and Knuckleheads over Good Black Men. When good brothas are putting in work in high school and college to make ends meet so they can be a good man and provider for his future wife, kids and household, the sistas go around calling him broke and chase knuckleheads and thugs and drug dealers and prop these types of dudes over the good brothas investing in his future. Eventually, the thug or drug dealer is found in a car trunk with his throat slashed open and the sista now “want a good brotha” to help raise the drug dealer son and act like a brotha going to fall for that crap. Brothas don’t forget how the sistas treated him as he worked his way up while in college eating ramen noodles. Raised Her Black Sons to Hate other Black Men and Hate Kittens. The sistas be mad at their baby daddy and cannot seem to get over it and be talking bad awful about men to her son because little man is a male and mommy be having her son instigate killing other black dudes and be defending his ignorant actions encouraging him to commit black-on-black violence. Dude will straight up beat a 70 year old to death and stomp on a cute kitten and the dude momma be up in court talking about her son is a good kid and innocent and stuff like that. Now after all of that, a sista act like we brothas do not remember any of this stuff, like it never happened. Chick be all 36 years old and older trying to turn into a cougar chasing younger brothas but younger brothas be seeing those tiger stripe stretch marks all on her old booty while she is bent over and get tired of tapping that old behind and instead the young brotha go and chase young girls his age and she get mad at young dude but forget when she was that age how she chased knuckleheads. And a lot of these sistas, their thug and knucklehead boyfriend get all kilt and ish because he was up in those streets and now she sitting by herself because no real brotha want her and she end up having non-meaning sex with other dudes around the way just trying to stick it to her. Or he up in jail calling her collect trying to create some fantasy they still in a relationship when he all up in jail. Then she want to sit around and post up selfies and have some dudes online post how good she look to boost her ego. And she still sit at home alone with all this going on but she is really all by herself with nobody to love. So you sistas now want to act like you mad at a brotha who came out of these hoods putting in work to do right in this world when you was dissing him and chasing drug dealers and knuckleheads? You sistas want to be mad at a brotha when you sistas was conspiring with the courts, police and liberals to help marginalize and destroy the black man and black family unit? Oh no, uh-huh honey...we brothas got somebody else to love and it definitely not your lonely bitter ass....welcome to the world you made..lonely ass bitch..

37 thoughts on “A Reminder Article for African-American Women Sitting Around Wondering Why She Have Nobody to Love…

  1. You Sir, are blaming the WRONG person. Black women do not have the power to create a welfare check, open an abortion clinic or “swat” you. The reasons these things were created and the reason the white and other females are so freely available to you is that the SYSTEM of WHITE SUPREMACY has used all the tools you mentioned and more (allowing Black women to have an education and jobs at a higher rate for example) to DESTROY the Black race. The Destroyer has planted lies in the ears of both Black men and women to cause us to battle with each other INSTEAD of working WITH each other to ensure that we not only survive but prosper.

    1. Well said. I agree 100%. I have black brothers. They have no problem with women and actually think just the opposite- and that black men should be the “protector” of his family.. they never blame women for their faults. This is why their children respect them and their sisters ( like me ) respect them.
      Taking responsibility for what you do in life is the first step in becoming a man.

      No other race of people do this blame my women, but African American… we assume we have come along way, but every 2 steps we take there is 3 taken away from us when we start to blame each other for our own faults and not look to overcome and correct them. W eventually become stagnant and never move forward.

    2. Yeah and there’s took the bait.. I know “strong afrocentric” natural hair-istas thats going so hard in the paint on social media promoting how much they want to bang Michael Fassbender and swallow Channing Tatums kids that it borders on genetic blasphemy.

      I assume this blog is directed toards the sellouts who sold out and degraded the good men and themselves. Take Kanye for example I recall once a black female telling me that she was mad at Kim for “taking all the good ones” (LOL I didn’t know Ray J was a good one he seem like a corn to me). So I asked her would she accept the fact that Kanye would be up front about the fact that he would be with other women sexually. And that he will do him, that he is the man and that he would be in charge of his sphere, being himself. I asked her would she put up with all of his “weirdness”? Black women are not open to “quirky” behavior from black men, it is acceptable and “cute” when a white guy does it but a nigga gotta be either Slim THug or BIlly Dee Williams LOL.

      Well anyway of course she said no, she wouldn’t put up with Kanye being himself so I said of course, that’s why Kim gets who she wants, she understands her role as a woman is NOT to control a man. Sad that it’s that misunderstood.

      It seems as if many black women are all too glad to show how she can put herself over a black man as a sign of pride. THis stems directly from slavery-era racial dynamics put in place still to this day, giving mammy power over the house and being the de-facto leader. It is fine for a woman to have her power but she is not meant to have a man’s power, and I work downtown and see black woman everyday growing facial hair on their necks and chins due to their hypermasculinity. They are the ones chasing Euro men around and haunting them in the boardroom, not black men.

      I don’t particularly see it as a problem. Nature is nature, and we will all come to our senses eventually. And on that day when we open our eyes in the positions of self-betrayal, we will cleanse ourselves and each other of the poisons that have deceived us. More specifically, the black woman being let into the high stations of power– she will chop the head off Zeus because no one else is allowed in his chambers of trust. Just remember who daddy is LOL. Peace and Joy

  2. @A Lady – this is an empowerment blog, we do not play victim here and blame others. I hope this discussion do not try to go into cognitive dissonance because as far as i see, black men do not have problems when it coming to having somebody to love – we build ourselves up to have the resources to maintain somebody to love but we don’t forget how we were treated on the way up..that cannot be ignored.

    @Joy – No racist framework made their victims make the choices above – you didn’t read anything about forced abortions, forced movement into ghettos and no racist victim in history except African-American women made a choice to get with a knucklehead over a well-rounded brotha. When Jim Crow was in effect and even slavery, our people married right and raised families and communities and your family tree will reveal this fact on it’s own. It was after 1970 and the data is there showing sistas taking the father out the household to get a welfare check. Reagan wasn’t just calling someone a “welfare mom” – that was the end goal and the sistas went along with it.

    @Jermaine – welcome and I just want to get you to clarify something and please respond. You stated Kanye West was a “sellout” and I need you to explain how you made this conclusion. Please do not respond immediately but I want you to think about what you said, who told you that and how you came to that belief. If you truly understand the black man, truly understand who will raise North West and understand not even Abraham nor old biblical (not even Egyptians) black men practiced race loyalty that you may have been misled. Please think about it before responding but we need to discuss what you said about Kanye being a sellout.

    1. Nothing but the bitter truth brother and I have said before “sometime you got to take a bitter pill to get well”, I like the way you stand your ground and push back against this left wing liberal and progressive narrative that knee jerk black people spew at the drop of a hat like a train monkey without ever doing sanely thought, they remind me of a old essay I read one time title “the death of common sense”, keep on keeping on brother because young black men like you are grossly needed. We need more smart, wise and intelligent but strong brothers like you to arrest the minds of our young black males and females away from those self sabotaging, fronting like black blogs like The Root, The Grio, Newsone, Black America Web, Clutch Mag. Essence Mag, Ebony mag, MadameNoire, BET etc. just name a few. Although I don’t agree with everything y’all say primarily because of generational and class difference I say more power to you and keep up the good work and don’t let the black lap dogs of political LEFT and the political RIGHT back you down when you know in facts better.

  3. I enjoy reading and can understand your perspective but I must disagree with your conclusions on this one. There is plenty of blame to go around regarding the current state of black love. I find your explanation of the situation half-baked and degrading to both black men and women. It is full of decontextualized kernels of truth that hint at your limited understanding of the complex nature of human relationships within an oppressive society.

    How many good black men, citing their unpreparedness to support a child, urged their young black girlfriends to abort the children that they collaboratively conceived (even driving them to clinics/planned parenthood and paying for the abortions) only to then go on creating the glamorous lives which you described? The black woman did not come to this all on her own.

    Why not tell the entire story of how project housing and welfare encouraged the disintegration of black families? You know, where hard working black mothers and fathers with limited housing options and holding down multiple jobs to scrimp by in the city made the decision to live separately in order to receive additional support to care for their children. Remember, they were PROHIBITED from living outside the red zones instituted by property owners groups and government and our fathers who fought in the wars were not illegible for the government subsides given to support white families (i.e., G.I bill, homestead act, different time periods but all interrelated). I won’t even touch the drug issue (not only knuckleheads use and sell drugs).

    And yes, black women should protest degrading music instead of dancing to it but many black men have built very glamorous lives on this work and should consider using their manly strenght and power to stand up to their owners who tell them what will sell instead of beating their women down for their own gain. SN: Black women (or black people in general) don’t really buy music anyway.

    I will not refute every point that you made as I simply haven’t the time but I will say this:

    I believe the reason many black women are sitting at home alone with no one to love is because in this country they have ALWAYS been deemed the most unlovable and unattractive and men such as those who you describe have internalized that message and now make excuses to address the cognitive dissonance that they are experiencing.

    As I said, there are a host of factors at play regarding the state of black love (which may even be a non issue, I haven’t done all the research myself) but one thing is for certain, playing the blame game will do no good. We must respect and build up one another.

    I deeply admire what you do and encourage you to continue to express your opinion. This blog is an inspiration to me. Metal sharpens metal and I’m glad you’ve left this space open for constructive dialogue that challenges and sharpens us all.

    1. I totally agree with you Ari.

      The demise of the black family and black love involves so many different factors and collective blame can be parsed out to multiple sources. I understand the OPs point but I think it makes him sound like some of the black women I know who “no longer date black men because ___ race of men are so much better/or I remember how they treated me when i was trying to come up.” Only the black community tears itself from the inside out at such a scale as to be shameful and ridiculous. My white, asian, and latina girl friends rarely say things like, “uggghhh, white/asian/latino men are so busted and have destroyed our love relationships.” Generally speaking, I mostly hear this from black men/women —tearing each other down…blaming each other for issues that very clearly to me the enemy provided as sweet poisonous cake for us to eat and delight in while decimating each other; thus maintaining a destroyed community (lol…end militant black rant).

      I have black girl friends who believe that most black men are criminals and deviants. Actually, several non black women regularly express their fears of being a victim of crime due to working in black neighborhoods. They always mention the number of black males standing around or milling about the streets and how that ‘disturbs’ them. I’m always offended by these comments because they seem to believe that they can make these statements because they have a couple CNN factoids to corroborate their fears. Sadly some of the black women I know have concluded these same things based off crime statistics, personal experiences and historical factors. When my female friends make comments about the number of black men in prison, the mass fatherlessness within the black community, the prevalence of violence instigated by black males against the black community, and that most black men will eventually become criminals or bums, I try to help them understand the context of how the criminal system is disproportionately built in a way to punish black people more harshly than other racial groups. I try to provide context. Yes, many of the things they raise as facts are in fact true, but the road to how those facts came to be true is not as simple as many would like to believe.

      I’m not saying that what the OP stated about planned parenthood, welfare, etc do not have historical credence, but it just seems based on available information concerning this topic, that he is presenting these historic factors without providing much needed context which would actually lead to the conclusion that the demise of the Roman empire (i.e. black love lol) did not happen because of one single group but was in fact destroyed because of lots of folks.

    2. Ari I was just waiting for someone to really read what you wrote and tear down the pseudo-facts you made up. What you wrote was basically made up gibberish and you attempted to write a lot of sentences to make you sound accurate or right. This is a business blog and we do real research here, even on our own people and you simply not going to slide that easy, so let’s start popping some bubbles.

      “How many good black men, citing their unpreparedness to support a child, urged their young black girlfriends to abort the children that they collaboratively conceived (even driving them to clinics/planned parenthood and paying for the abortions) only to then go on creating the glamorous lives which you described?”

      Close to zero – you made that nonsense up. Black men or black boys don’t go around and never went around urging black women or black girls to get an abortion – black dudes who are sorry is not going to pay significant child support and black dudes with money, that black woman is going to make sure she have his baby. The only ones telling a black girl to have an abortion are liberal agents and you know it. Do not try to drag a black dude into a woman right to choice which is what you done. If a raw dude didn’t want her to have a baby, she would got punched/kicked in the stomach or accidentally fell down some stairs.

      “Why not tell the entire story of how project housing and welfare encouraged the disintegration of black families? You know, where hard working black mothers and fathers with limited housing options and holding down multiple jobs to scrimp by in the city made the decision to live separately in order to receive additional support to care for their children.”

      You made this up again as you failed in your fantasy to establish the timelines. The black father could not have any income, not just live in the house. In terms of fathers voluntarily leaving the house and letting his wife stay there and raised the kids – once again you made up fantasy about how we black men operate. No black man ever said that crap about he leaving the household and she collect the food stamps back in the 1960s or prior. The projects before 1970s welcomed married black couples and intact black families and there was rarely any single parent households – this is all facts and elder blacks can testify my statements. And you can watch an episode of Good Times if you still not convinced. The problem stem with black power movement and the government wanted black men not collaborating in those projects and created this social experiment that is also well documented to remove the black male from these households. The government went after black women with free food and housing and the sistas took it with the condition not to have the black man there to strengthen the project community with black power and this is 1960s – 1970s.

      “many black men have built very glamorous lives on this work and should consider using their manly strenght and power to stand up to their owners who tell them what will sell instead of beating their women down for their own gain.”

      This is correct and I agree with this, black men have conspired with the media to destroy black women through rap videos, rap music and BET. Even Tyler Perry degraded the sistas but the sistas haven’t figure that out yet either – hint: most real sistas don’t even want to see Tyler Perry and when they do, tell us brothas that was trifling and stupid and a waste of their time. But today, Cathy Hughes run Radio One and another woman runs BET programming – the two largest media pipeline going directly into to black households.

      I agree we should have a discussion but I want you to understand Dream and Hustle been around for a long minute – many scholars and most of your TV pundits been through this blog and we work on facts and historical accounts, not these stories that sound nice but simply not true.

      You should know the basis here of all the points above – this was the calculated work of going through the women to destroy a group of people. That is not a new strategy and we discussed this before and they been doing this for 1000s of years from African tribes to the Vikings, using other culture women to destroy another culture. What it boils down to is the strength of the women to stand up for their culture and resist the fight and many women in many cultures even in the Amazon fought their ass off to keep their people and culture intact. Unfortunately, black women here in America chose to conspire and the rate of abortions, shows like Scandal, that one movie coming out with some woman going after a white dude and the “affordable housing” is proof sistas are conspiring.

      As we indicated before, the micro-loan movement that was an attempt to give to women overseas to empower women, the women overseas gave that money to their man to handle the community business so we got the data to separate the wheat from chaff when it comes to what real women should be doing for their people and community.

  4. You sound very bitter.

    The bottom line is we as a community need to do better. Both men and women. We need to stop the finger pointing, because we are both at fault. We just need to come together and start working on solutions.

    1. Lena…you havent said anything of value. Calling dudes bitter does not add any value and kind of silly..

      You saying im bitter is kinda saying black women did all this to black men and we mad about it…you are validating and excusing the action by saying we men are bitter.

      Go into the relationship archives of Dream and Hustle and you will see black women throwing around the “you bitter” cliche for over 7 years…its tired and lame..we black men havent conspired with anybody to destroy the black family unit…

  5. Folks coming all out the woodworks for this post. Ed puts out great material monthly. Hardly anyone black says a peep. The second he speaks truths that black men among themselves agree with, folks now want to come comment suddenly on a blog about business.

    Can anyone refute Margaret Sangers master plan for Planned Parenthood ?
    Can anyone refute the statistics about the Black Family after the introduction of welfare ?
    Can anyone refute the willingness of the black women to call law enforcement quickly thus giving a man a criminal record. Limiting job opportunities.

    The odd thing is that whenever a black woman or another black men talk about the raggedy good for nothing brothers on this earth black men rarely jump out trying to defend them ? Black men with standards do not condone destructive behavior by other black men. Why is it that it’s almost heresy to speak out about black women who help out in our own depression ?

    Had Ed written an article saying 5 reasons why black men aint got it together he would have received no rebuttals. Rather he would have been applauded for setting them black men straight. You see the disconnect ? Most men do.

    This article is dead on correct. It is easy to call another black man bitter for speaking out against some of our sisters. But how quick are you to discredit another black woman when she speak that truth ? Check out this sister.

    https://www.facebook.com/NojmaReflects

  6. Notice how my comments about coming together as community and creating solutions were completely disregarded..

    1. Lena how do we come together? You didnt say how…

      As for me I wouldnt even sit down at the table until the sistas stop supporting Scandal.. ABC will cancel that dumb show once Obama leave office and we all know it..so as long as the sistas support that show i will not support her in any kind of relationship..

      So no solution will come about because the sistas want to disrespect Michelle Obama and brothas like me not going to tolerate it…

  7. I echo what Thomas says, Ed post great articles weekly, sometimes more, about business intelligence that can economically approve your family and it damn near get crickets in the comment section. One relationship opinion article and everybody opens their mouths smdh.

    Like a podcast I listened to last week, we talk junk about everything under the Sun but when the talk turns to Money and Business crickets.

  8. “The demise of the black family and black love involves so many different factors and collective blame can be parsed out to multiple sources. ”

    The term “different factors” is the biggest cliche in the black community to divert blame and avoid accountability and ignore the issue affecting us black folks….no serious person trying to solve black problems use that blanket “different factors” statement. We zero in on black problems and zero in on black solutions on this blog…..I know many of you are not used to this but that is what we do here….

  9. Ed,

    I am a little taken back that you feel this way towards the Sistahs. Not all black women are bad just as not all black men are bad. I digress that you believe black women sold out black men for welfare checks and EBT. I believe all situations are different. Do I believe that most young, black women are settling for EBT and housing? Yes I do…Do I feel that black women as a whole contributed to the detriment of the black man? Yes and No. But when do black men take responsibility in their part? I, as a black woman, married to a black man, take pride in our black men. I asked my husband about why black women are so ridiculed and deemed as “not marriage material”. He simply answered-“Baby, you are extinct. How many black women you know cook, clean, take pride in their appearance, want to see their man do good, go through the rough and tough times with you, not materially driven, not monetarily driven, and has goals together as a family? When was the last time you saw a black woman actually looking to build up a brother versus tearing him down?” I could not argue with him-he made a valid point as you Ed. But as my husband stated, he will never say there are no black women out there because WE are far and few in between but we are out there. By making statements like this can really turn women into MAN HATERS. We have enough hate from other cultures and ethnicity-why must we hate on each other?

    1. Yes but many of these hood black women will jump at the chance to be with a white man if he so much as spits in her direction. Look at the NYC mayor’s wife talking about she was a lesbian when she was younger but jumped at the chance to be with a white man as soon as it became convenient for her. And now that motherfucker is gentrifying to fuck out of NYC and driving all the blacks out. That’s primetime bedwenching right there! Many of these modern day black women have been trained by their ghetto black mommas to hate the black man take the white mans welfare money or corporate job and use white daddy as a weapon against her own black man. But deep down inside they all secretly desire that white man because of his precieved wealth and status and will jump if a white boy so much as spits in their direction. His statements are not turning women into MAN HATERS because the bitches he is talking about DONT LIKE ON POINT BLACK MEN OR BLACK MEN ANYWAYS! Because of the way they have been taught.

  10. Over and over again, everytime this discussion comes up on Dream and Hustle the predictable happens:

    – Women come out and try to call me bitter or angry and try to make it personal. Sorry, but I look good and make good money and I got nice cars and a charming Chicago personality – I don’t have women/dating problems. If anything, I have too many sistas around me..just 20 minutes ago I ran into two women both I was hollering at and they talking to each other and saw me, I put my head down and kept walking..that’s my problem with the sistas here in the ATL…

    – Deflection flies all over the place trying to take away from the core matter. It’s always these other factors, it’s always a lot of other reasons than what you explained. All of this is nothing but hot air rhetoric comment section filler to try to dilute the core issue.

    – Anecdotal references such as I know this person and they doing this or I had this person told me this and this is what black folks do all the time – like to story-tell anecdotal and pass this off as empirical evidence.

    This is how black people address all issues, not just relationships. We act like we don’t want to solve problems and just want to keep talking in circles and deflect and go personal to avoid any kind of progress to a solution. Please just quit while you are ahead…

    When you want to grow and progress, you have to accept responsibility…stop talking about “other factors”..this person was involved to and everything. Look at what you done and realize that change start with you. No black woman should be having recreational abortions or told by feminist liberal agents her baby ain’t going to grow up to be shit and she will be better off not having the burden of single motherhood. 80% divorce rate and the housing bust and unemployment rate made almost all African-American women struggling at the end of the day, with kids or without….

    No black woman should ever allow the government or some government program convince her that their block of free government cheese and section 8 housing and EBT is a replacement for a good black man. That government crap is fixed income and President Obama and Congress is scaling down and cutting out entitlement benefits. A sista that invested in a good man would have seen growth in private investments, better healthcare, better housing option and stable higher quality of life with a good man over a same 5-10 year period.

    Who called the cops on Michael Brown and claim it was strong arm robbery? The QT owners said they didn’t call anybody. White people don’t shop in that ghetto ass location, so who called the cops and told them Michael Brown strong-armed robbery? I’m willing to bet it wasn’t a black man either, now can you sistas take a guess that the only variable left was what….a black woman calling the cops on a black man? The second shooting in St. Louis with the brotha standing outside the store with two soda cans, who called the cops on him and he ended up shot? Yeah, a black woman called the cops while the brothas was trying to talk him down.

    Will Smith did a movie with Eva Mendes called Hitch and black women complained why Will Smith and Denzel are not opposite a black woman in these movies as their woman. Will Smith stood up and said that Hollywood does this and you never saw Will Smith in that role again. Now today, you same ass black women running around supporting Scandal and the rest of these BS televisions shows showing black women and no black man present. No one forgot a damn thing here, my sistas, the point of this whole article.

    The thugs – we can go back to the 1970s herion dealers, the drug cats in the Chevy Blazers in the 1980s to the “ruffnecks” MC Lyte talking about in the 1990s to the thug love crap last decade up to today. We brothas ain’t forgot about that as much as you sistas want to pretend we haven’t experience or saw what we saw with our own eyes. Notice you don’t see any brothas attacking me or defending you sistas in this discussion..hint that I’m speaking exactly how they feel..

    And last – Jennifer Hudson family massacre. The dude who was convicted was a known gang member, was in jail carjacking an older black person who he dragged from the streets for miles into the highway in Chicago and someone, some black woman thought he was cute enough to have a boyfriend. And during the trial, the dude momma walking around profiling and styling on camera claiming her boy is a good man.

    So once again, you can come with the personal attacks or you can take responsibility and accountability and take action on your part and do the right thing. All of you know damn well I take responsibility for the economic growth of our black community and establishing a framework of our people and I learn mistakes our black people make and create solutions – so stop trying to pretend I’m the problem. Step up, grow up and do the right thing and the time is now. You sistas need to have some responsibility to be accountable for actions sistas have committed.

  11. Ed, I never called you bitter or angry-I stated I was taken aback by your comments. I didn’t take it personal because I know what I do and that I am not the woman/women you are speaking of. However, it makes it hard on women who are taking care of their business and focusing on restoring the black family and the black man when we still have the “black women bashers” out there in drives.
    I never deflected the core matter and I stated its both sides that need to take responsibility-man and woman. It takes two…
    My suggestion is to stop the bashing. I have known women who bash black men and I refuse to be a part of that. I will not allow anyone to talk about the black man or woman. Are you afraid to acknowledge that there are black women out there trying to restore the black family and speak of the things that you are so concerned about? You have a plethora of knowledge and influence that could actually help the relationship model of the black man/black woman/black family. With the knowledge you are giving, there are a lot of cats taking this information and trying to make it work for them. Thoughts exuberated here in this article makes it hard for black Sistahs, such as myself to earn the respect that we deserve.
    No, I was not attacking you-I was not thrilled with your comments.

    1. It takes two to accept their own responsibility and take ownership of the problem and take ownership of the solution.

      Personally as a man I have dealt with and addressed the black male scumbags from the radical black men hating women online, the black male PUA culture and even Black Enterprise magazine and the bitchy black men running that magazine.

      And i take responsibilty and ownership of black men shortcomings and pursue solutions for the black man to be the provider and protector by doing for self, his people and his community.

      Not one black women came to this thread discussion and took responsibility for anything nor took ownership of any problems and showing no interest of owning a solution.

      This awful negative reaction by the sistas on this comment thread is shocking and going viral by the brothas. I have definately lost a lot of confidence the sistas are going to take any responsibility on their part.

      I just dont say i take responsibilty, i show it and i give +1 points to the brothss for my actions. We are waiting for the sistas to step up and then we can have that “come together” and “work together” thing going….

  12. This is a blog that talks about solutions. For a blog that provides solutions, there’s is not one solution stated in this article. Not one. It just goes on and on about the problem. A better article would have been something that stated the problem and provided the solutions, but also refrained name calling black women “bitter” and ” lonely bitter asses”.

    Here’s how you could written a better article:

    You could have stated your problem: You don’t like the way the way blacks are currently being portrayed in the media. You hate shows like Scandal, Vh1 reality tv, and Tyler Perry movies. You hate popular rap music that promotes violence, degeneration of women, materialism and markets the bad boy image.

    You could have have provided a possible Solution: Black people can start up a campaign for an alternative black media. It will be sort of like the black Bollywood. We can pool the resources together from some of the prominent black people in Hollywood. We can also start a campaign on kick start or on similar platforms. We can gather up and coming script writers, well known and little known black Hollywood actors, etc etc and come together and make a black alternative media. This new alternative media will positive images of black women and men. It will teach black women to strive for better in their potential mates and not promote the image of the bad boy. It will teach black men to strive for something better than becoming a rapper, ball player etc, etc

    Problem: I don’t like Planned Parenthood because I’m pro choice and I want our black population to continue to grow.

    Solution: Here’s my proposal for a pro choice organization that can be promoted amongst black women. I will do the following 1, 2, 3……

    Problem: I don’t like the current welfare system. It’s a system created to keep blacks in poverty and in broken homes and communities. Here is my solution for creating a better system that will help low income families find houses but will keep families intact and educate them about the ills of the current system blah, blah, blah…..

    You get it.

    You usually come up with creative solutions. In this piece, your creative input is missing entirely. With this article, it’s like you state the problem and you just throw your hands up in the air. It’s like you’re saying the problem is too big to solve or it’s a lost cause because you didn’t provide any solutions. Instead of addressing the issue or staying to work out solutions, you are choosing to abandon it and run away. It’s a shame because it is what so many of us black folk do in one form or another, run from our problems. But the problem will continue to eat away at our communities until we come together to solve it.

    1. I understand your angst with the article is that in order to acknowledge the problem you would have to call out your loved ones that took the bait way back in the day. Part of the “Solution” is black women first accepting Big Momma’s and Aunties role in destroying the black man over the years. OP has said over and over that black women defend ratchetness(my words not his) and point the finger at other parties or make it personal.

    2. As a black man these is not our problems to create solutions…this is for the black woman to solve

      These entities from liberal feminists to government plotted with sistas to take down the black man. The sistas have to acknowledge, correct this wrong and do the right thing with a resolution.

      All I did as a black man was remind the sistas why she sitting by herself with no one to love because we brothas know what went down and just making sure there is understanding why we brothas are deeply discouraged from establishing serious committed relationship with the sistas…

    1. That “part of solution/part of problem” is nothing but cliche…we are bigger than memes and cliche here…

      For example we cannot help the losers in Ferguson,MO sovle their problem…they have to accept they are a 68% majority and failed their community first. Then they have to initiate a recall before anybody can help them.

  13. Ed,

    I thought I did take responsibility when I stated that I “I have known women who bash black men and I refuse to be a part of that. I will not allow anyone to talk about the black man or woman.”….this is my way of taking on responsibility and telling any woman or man that asks about what we do wrong as a community. I am a black woman, and I criticize us more because I see it-I see how we have allowed certain things to get in the way of our family structure. I take responsibility because as a mother, I am teaching my daughter the value of who she is-even though this is very hard when the black boys devalue her because she is a dark skin girl…but that’s another subject. The same as I give accolades to the men who are doing their best, I just ask the same for the women!

    I take full responsibility for anything that has created tension among my community but I will not take responsibility for the demeaning of a black woman because of a select few. But we can go back and forth all day, just know this black woman sees both sides…not just one. Both black men and black women must be held accountable…

  14. It’s a cliche but it’s true. And it applies to the current discussion.

    You have just stated that ” it’s not our problems to create solutions”. Just think about what you said for a moment.

    Your statement is exactly why we blacks are at the bottom of the barrel.

    1. Lena you are doing nothing more than complaining and attempting to divert this discussion and continue to make attacks. You are not used to or experienced to discuss with the people here..this simplistic rhetoric may work on these other blogs that like to talk all the time but you are not adding value here…

      You are not going to trivialize me or this topic so please pause or I will reset this convo to focus on the article

  15. Ed:

    Thanks for your reply. I did not make up one single statement (and can point you to some great documentaries and literature if you’d like).

    If you did real research you would not tell such a one sided story because as you would/will find, the black community was systematically destroyed through a number of tactics and schemes which were carried out by both black men and women.

    As I said before, there is blame to go around. Good researchers collect and analyze data then use their findings to draw conclusions. You have drawn conclusions and misrepresented the data to support your lopsided beliefs. I am not holding anyone faultless, just pointing out the multitude of lies and half-truths in your article.

    Lastly, don’t give away your power black man. Stop saying “Eve made me do it.”

  16. J.T., thank you for that. I completely agree with your statements. You’ve articulated the fact that both parties share responsibility for our prediciment. Some black women tear down black men and vice versa. It’s the old divide and conquer routine. Anyone who fails to understand that only further contributes to the division and infighting.

  17. Ed snappn on they ass.. Not one female discredited the 4 main facts at the beginning of the article. One female said it was white supremacy/ racism, well they still came after the weakest link ,which was the black female,and conspired to destroy really the only thing worth something after slavery. And when i say worth, Family/ Families run everything out here. Family is a business. 2 person household come up ,thats a fact It jus baffles my mind how negros come to a man who teaches’ in the hemisphere of(A.wilson,C.Anderson, B.hemmit ,N.fuller)look to argue, instead of learn. If they wanna see hate click that sotomayor guy . In The words of lil wayne “let’s get back to the money”

    1. Brandonh you want to know what is interesting – isn’t this the same thing we accuse white people of doing? Not wanting to acknowledge any of the wrongs committed against our people? Pretend like it never happened and say other factors like blacks sold blacks into slavery looking for someone else to point the finger at?

      This article has went viral and the chatter among the brothas is the same shock that I have reading the comments by the sistas above. They not on the team and now we brothas have to accept on our behalf who side are these sistas on anyway. This is a hard and difficult revelation that we are seeing in real-time this come out here in the comment section.

      Trying to discuss what they said/not said, if the author is bitter, trying to talk about everything else except the 4 main points as you indicated is what all the brothas is observing at this point right now. The sistas are literally pretending these main points in the article do not exist in the very same article they writing in the comment section!!!

      We brothas have taken responsibility – we don’t beef and you don’t see Bloods/Crips banging hard like that anymore. Brothas took responsibility for the fact we killing each other while other gangs and police were coming after all of us and then you have both Cease Fire and Detroit 300, organized brothas responding to take ownership and responsibility to male black-on-black violence. We brothas have more than enough examples of taking responsibility and ownership for structural problems in the black community.

      I have a feeling now that the racist bigots saw this in our sistas a long time ago – that our sistas won’t accept responsibility or take ownership for anything and exploited that weakness. Telling them to kill babies in their womb and get rid of their man to get some fix income welfare check and a joke of a corporate career claiming to be independent and don’t need a man. The only next message from any sista on this discussion is to stop pretending we brothas did not lay out the main points above and show she capable of coming to the table of resolution by first taking responsibility and ownership of the problem.

  18. ED AND BRANDON-I have acknowledged the four facts stated initially in the blog. I do not disagree with the statements given…I merely disagreed with your intentional branding of all black women as the reason for the demise of the black man. You are saying that sisters have not stepped up to the plate-what about the women who are helping their black man?

  19. I’m brand spanking new to the blog, just started reading it a few hrs ago, and going through the articles, there was a good write-up on the brothas as well. (http://dreamandhustle.com/2014/06/chronicles-of-a-brotha-ashamed-of-these-worthless-black-dudes-in-our-community/) Personally, as a sista that has a Master’s degree and takes care of her business, I didn’t take offense to this article. If the shoe fits, wear it. I’m not going to get angry over this article because I know what I’m doing to take care of my family and to a greater extent, my community. I’m sorry, but if this article angered anyone, it must have hit home. For anyone talking about black women were referred to negatively or bashed or beaten down, well there were a lot of good points made about the negative things pertaining to some brothas in the link to the article I just posted. Bother were good pieces, both had some good and valid points.

  20. For conspiring with the Pro-Choice Movement to Murder Black Babies, please forgive me. For conspiring with the government to remove black fathers from the household, I beg your pardon. For conspiring with Law Enforcement to attack black men, Jowo dariji mi. For Raising black sons to hate other black men and hate kittens, I apologize. I ask in all sincerity to forgive me for choosing Thugs and Knuckleheads over Good Black Men. May all black men know only sweetness and joy for the rest of their lives and may I be forgiven for all of my violations against them. I pray my apology is accepted. Modupe.

  21. I totally agree with your comments regarding abortion and welfare. I don’t know enough about calling the law on a Black man for no reason just so they end up in jail and are no longer employable, so I can’t really agree or disagree. Beyond that though, I have to say that it breaks my heart to read article after article on how “Black women are no good” and “Black men are no good”. I’m a Black woman who is single and sometimes I feel lonely, sometimes I feel satisfied. I want a Black husband, even though I consider myself to be open to other races. This is definitely not out of desperation but that I find handsome men attractive, period.
    Anyway, I just wanted to comment to let you and other men on here know that not all Black women fit the mold that you have so thoroughly described. Matter of fact, I couldn’t relate to not one comment you mentioned in your post. I guess I’m different. Nevertheless, I am single. Perhaps your thoughts are the very thoughts my potential suitors are thinking, and I’m not given a chance at “Hello”, due to the color of my skin…who knows. One thing is true, and that is everyone deserves to be seen and judged by their own merits, and not by the trifling actions of others within their similar subgroups. That’s how I deal with Black men…and White men…and all men.

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