Must Suck Real Bad to Be Passing Judgement on People You Never Sat Down With and Found Out Later They are Awesome

piano_ad3 The biggest quality of a boss and someone who make boss moves is their ability to know when to evaluate a person or situation and make a judgement call. You encounter an investor or a CEO and they will never judge you on first visual impression – go ahead and look them in the face and you will see real quickly they will be polite towards you until you open your mouth – that is when they can make a judgement call. Investors are smart, they will not judge you until you can sit down with them in a room with them and can show and prove that you have something of value they can invest in. I believe they do that on Shark Tank, they quiet until the person coming in to make the pitch open their mouth. In the African-American community, black people pre-judge each other too damn much without even knowing the other black person. This is the number one reason black people do not get opportunities because they failed to connect with people around them pre-judging everybody and get caught up with people they chosen out of poor judgement skills. This is also the number one reason people screw up at relationships by pre-judging people they had zero real-world courting experience with or even given a chance to hang out with. This is why most of you don’t do black clubs because you see black people fronting and other black people judging and cats start shooting inside the club because of being judged and disrespected. You are a black-owned business and open a business in the black community and everybody judging you without giving you a chance and trying to find any mistake they can pounce on. Here is the thing with me – I had black people around me in the real world who did not know all the things I was doing, all the connections I had and the power and respect I yield in this world. Probably thought I was some basic off-brand fucker they can look at and look past and if you want to be honest, that is how I try to carry myself, as some basic looking off-brand fucker. Because if you grew up in the black community and been around rich black moguls who serve our black communities, they carry themselves as some basic looking off-brand fucker like Russell Simmons be dressing. It’s funny because I was at a Korean buffet that was always crowded and money pouring in and as I’m walking around, I saw an older Korean male looking like a basic looking off-brand fucker pretending he was the help and I just smirked at him and he smirked back – because bosses recognize bosses. However, black people just walked by him smiling and stuff ignoring the boss in the room and probably was looking for the flashy guy with the flashy car to admire. One of the things you learn coming up hard and hustling in a place like New York or Chicago or Los Angeles is you don’t know where that big break may come from. You can be a cat shining shoes downtown Chicago and telling the person who stopped by you want to work in the financial markets and he gives you his card and start training you to be a Series 7 broker – that happened to me in the real world. You never know you can be sitting and talking to someone helping them on a small problem and then they tell you they are this person who run this $200 million year operation in the fashion industry and give you an opportunity – that happened to me in the real world. I can go on and on with the comeup stories but they are all the same – I talked to people without judging them and helping people like the one-arm limo driver who limo was broke down in Burlingame, California and changed his tire for him and he took my information after telling me he was the limo driver of some very famous Silicon Valley executives back in the dotcom boom days. You never know where your big break come from. Many of you remember years ago on Dream and Hustle where I told you I gave a sista an USB key with database script on it and in a matter of time, she turned from a regular job sista to a Senior DBA making over $100k a year just copying and pasting the scripts I gave her. You know how that came about? She asked me out to lunch seeing I was programming and asked me how she can be one too and was tired of her phone job. I had plenty of white people, Indian people and so on ask me out to 'pick my brain' but this was the only African-American woman who ever in my life approached me seeing what I was doing. I ran into her at a Thai place last year, still in the game getting hers and she like those big cars too. When I was a contractor in Atlanta, I networked with over 400 recruiters at any given moment to get my next job. When cats are out of work and we got the same skillsets, guess what we do? Here is the number to my 400 recruiters you can reach out to and they got work in days. And when sistas actually get laid off or their husband get laid off, I ask for their number and they get phone calls saying Ed gave them his number and he is a good guy and ask them to come in to help them navigate the market here in Atlanta – I personally emailed that recruiter and told them to reach out to this guy. But African-Americans in the business world don’t do this for each other and don’t have this kind of pull because they spend their time pre-judging everybody all the time and don’t know that opportunity comes when you are open to receive opportunities. Aerial view of the crossroads in Shanghai, China Well, this basic looking off-brand fucker is about to launch a global empire with 14 brands and been working with a global team for the past 8 years under development. I have the industry respect of my peers and consulted other movers and shakers on how to implement what they are doing. I quietly made my name mattered where is actually mattered and I built up a following of allies and loyal cats in the game who will rally behind me on my mission. And meanwhile, I had a bunch of African-Americans who recently found out what Ed Dunn was about and now around me trying to look the other way while I hold my head high smirking in their damn direction because they made the decision early on to pre-judge someone they never took the time to sit down with or tried to get to know. That kinda suck because I personally have so much stories in my life of meeting people, being right by people, not judging people to see people turn around and give me opportunities that I did not expect that benefited and added value to my quality of life. Yeah, I would look the other fucking way too if I was pre-judging and full of shit like these real world cats are acting around me right now, real talk. African-Americans spend too much time posing and frontin and pre-judging other people where they destroy any opportunity of getting that big break from where they least expect it, which is how most people make it big in this world. God is the one who works in mysterious ways and don’t try to judge who God brings around you because it may be a blessing in disguise and most of the time, God will reveal to you that blessing that you dismissed or pre-judged to let you know you lost the opportunity God was trying to extend to you. If you listen to almost everybody story who made it big, they will tell you the same story of getting that big break from a place or a person they did not expect and it was because they took the time and consideration to know and share with other people without pre-judging them first. So to all you African-Americans out there - stop going around pre-judging people and think you on some better stuff than the person around you that you never even sat down and had a conversation with.

4 thoughts on “Must Suck Real Bad to Be Passing Judgement on People You Never Sat Down With and Found Out Later They are Awesome

  1. Ed,

    You telling the truth. I haven’t responded in a while because I’ve been working a lot of overtime at my day job and putting in many hours on my side hustle because I know what’s coming economically.

    But you’re right. I was talking to this intern at my job about finances. My job is in the medical field, but he saw something in me and was asking me all kinds of questions about mortgages, and investing, and CDs, etc and I answered him. He didn’t ask the other people because all he heard from them was “I ordered these shoes off Amazon” and “Have you ate at this restaurant?” or “Do you watch Dating Naked?”

    I told him that I have money, but I keep a dent in my convertible because it confuses people. They see a pretty black girl in a convertible and think “Oh, she got money.” But then they see the dent and say to themselves, “She ain’t got no money. If she did, she would fix the dent.” That dent ain’t bothering nobody. My point is to blend in. They think I’m one of them, living above my means.

    I got an apartment in March and had to buy all new furniture. My car was being fix, so my sister drove me to the furniture store. After I picked out my furniture, the lady sat me down and asked how was I going to pay for it. Monthly payments? Apply for a store credit card? I said no, “Cash.” After I said that, she was trying to up-sell me everything. I was prejudged when I walked into the store.

    Your last paragraph about God showing missed blessings is so true. Co workers and exes from the past will all of a sudden email me after 5-7 years wanting to know how I’m doing. I’m cool.

  2. yep i agree 100% one connect can lead to another one which can change your life.i have often said black folks would be better off if we talked more in social situations instead of acting in the manner you described

  3. Wow. A few weeks after being laid off of a gig I didn’t like in 2014, my phone was blowing up at 7 a.m. while I was sleeping in. Turns out a male friend of a sista I worked in the past was an employee of an 8(a) government contractor firm that suddenly needed a technical writer for a subcontract; and dude recommended me. Now the company owner was calling me. I called her back; we talked and she hired me over the phone. The owner is a Thai-Chinese woman in her 50s. I am also in my 50s. The commonality led her to say she liked the fact I was mature. I’m still working for her, but one day we could be partners rather than boss-employee. Now mind you, I’m not a technical writer in the classic sense, but after a year, I’ve learned a bunch.

    Along that same vein, my son and I drove Uber here in the DC area to keep $$ flowing. My son picked up a passenger who knew someone in HR of a small Indian-owned IT firm who needed someone. My son applied, and was hired on a 1099 basis. He then got his Network+ cert. Now he is working for another firm that just got bought out by a larger company.

    Speaking of driving for Uber, I find it too risky from a liability insurance perspective when you look at their site’s fine print, but to each his/her own. But “Ubering” can be a great networking tool in a place like DC. The funny thing is both my son and I have been told by various passengers, “You are the first Americans/English speakers we have seen here driving Uber.” That we are both black didn’t seem to matter LOL.

  4. Indeed, great article! Same thing happened to me when I decided that I wanted to make some real moves in life…and it WORKED. I had the exact same situation where a guy (shoeshine man) hooked me up the with most successful businessman in our city and likely state. The businessman took me under his wing and was helping me get my series 7, but he got really sick and wasn’t able to come work with me…he was an old guy with mad money but a heart of gold. He saw the desire in me that he used to have… Anyway, very timely article.

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