What You Can Do Individually as an African-American Woman to Change the Negative Perception Against Sistas

The negative perception of African-American women is widespread, real and it does matter. The typical response from a typical sista after being called out is to show some sass or bring some negative attitude basically reinforcing the negative stereotypes levied against sistas. In a global economy, perceptions do matter and while you cannot individually change the perception, you can change the perception of you as an individual. In this article, we are going to confront the negative perception of African-American women and you sistas are going to have to deal with it. As an African-American man, we know our sistas and our primal instinct is to look over our mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, female cousins, nieces and daughters and goddaughters and that include straight talk and action against the stubbornness. So none of you sistas going to step to this article and talk that negative sass bullsh*t over here because let me give you negative chicks who typing too many comments on the Internet a reality check. First, I see the younger generation of sistas under 25 pushing back on the negative stereotypes and have resentment towards all you 35 and older African-American women who perpetuated these negative stereotypes against her black man and her black community. These younger sistas are embracing brothas as her own brotha with love and friendship rejecting the stuck up, standoffish crap these black women over 35 did to their black men during the last two decades. Second, you sistas have to win the brothas back and that is as blunt as I can get with you on the reality. I’m looking in real time, the good brothas are not checking sistas but global sistas are opening up and the opportunity is real to these brothas and attainable. I got a chick in London right now skyping me every morning, fine as hell who wish me off to a great day here in Atlanta, Georgia USA. Love looking at her beautiful face on my flat panel TV – damn I love modern technology! Let’s Lay Out the Negative Stereotypes madsista What are the negative stereotypes going on out there? Where do you want me to start? Nasty Negative Attitude. When we brothas talk to you sistas, you sistas appear standoffish like we brothas are up to something. We are up to something chick – we are interested in you. But even when talking to a sista, she is basically downing everything more than praising things and like to laugh at cruel things. And we brothas observe you sistas be on your mobile phone talking negative ish to another sista walking down the street acting oblivious and high-maintenance. Want Drama. Want to find something to argue about. Why we brothas not coming home after work and stayed out late at the strip club. Asking who long hair strand is this in the back seat of our SUV. Why we brothas claimed our child on our taxes before you got a chance to claim our child on your taxes. Why we quit our job when we got bills due and stuff like that. You sistas always want to bring up ish trying to get on us brothas nerve and stuff. Then everybody around the world see you sistas consume negative reality TV and Scandal and these drama blogs that gossip about relationships and stuff. Physically Fake. I recently saw a sista with it all at this mainstream media place I visited - a fake big butt, fake eye lashes, fake blond weave, fake eye color contacts, fake nose job, fake nails and she smelled like acrylic and ish. And I was thinking to myself that she probably want a real man too. Praise Knuckleheads and Shun Good Brothas. This is the one I don’t get. I’m in the technology industry full of brothas that actually make $100,000/year or more and no one need to lie/front/fake our money in this industry – cats actually make that much and way more if they doing corp-to-corp to $200,000/year and more. And I see black women try to sh*t on these very same brothas in the corporate environment while she dating some knucklehead bringing him to the corporate parking lot to show off his broke ass and his broke ass ghetto car. Dude making $100K/year can pay bills, buy houses, go to places and let his chick shop and have medical benefits for his stepson but you sistas want to parade the broke knucklehead around who we smart brothas ask if he got the latest Madden game and your broke boyfriend talking about he now playing the new Black Ops online on his PlayStation while real brothas making $100,000/year. You want to know the best part my African-American black woman? When your knucklehead boyfriend bragging he is f*cking on you to the real cats making that $100K+ in that corporate parking lot while he waiting for you to come out of the office. Cannot Cook Worth a Damn. This is not about you sistas not slaving over a kitchen, no you cannot cook in an Eat to Live fashion. You cook the food of slow death. Right now I’m dealing with brothas in their 40s married now getting diagnose with cancer and hear/liver disease based on shit they been eating all these years in the black family household. Processed meat, pork, high-sugar and high-carb diets and high cholesterol and little Vitamin B and little Vitamin D. No complex carbs and eating vermin/scavengers and be posting up pics on Instagram of this crap you sistas be cooking like a brotha supposed to be proud that is the crap you cook up in your damn kitchen. Poor Wellness Living. The biggest turnoff to a real black man is when we at the cafeteria during breakfast and hear an African-American woman ask the person behind the counter to give her some greasy pork bacon and pork sausage to eat. The sistas are claiming they on a diet and taking diet pills and 30-40 years old dropping dead at alarming rates getting heart attacks taking those pills that increase her heart rate claiming that burns energy while she does nothing. Want to dress up to work out at LA Fitness like it is club instead of do wellness lifestyle of going outdoors and burn energy living an active lifestyle. And yes, we brothas hate to tell you African-American sistas this but – sex with you lazy ass sistas suck and lame as hell because you have no energy and the wellness lifestyle to support good sexual intercourse. Adopted Negative Subservient Doctrine. You sistas adopted the white liberal feminism doctrine and try to bring that crap to a black man who have to fight white male privilege and racist structures. Then you sistas adopted the subservient black church doctrine telling you that Jesus is your husband and got your head all messed up and having us black men leaving you and that stupid church you attending in droves as a result. Harm Your Own Children Future. First you make the conscious decision to let a worthless brotha penetrate you raw with no condom and inseminate you. You know full well you can look in that worthless brotha eye and can tell he ain’t going to have a Mercedes and his own Empire when he turns 35 years but you let him penetrate anyway knowing he ain’t going to be there for the kid. Then when the baby is born, you sistas give the baby a ghetto name crippling that child chance from rising up in this world – a name means everything. I won’t go into the stuff about you sistas bringing around worthless dudes around your daughter to see and letting your son harass and disrespect the young black girls in the community either. Don’t Go to the Beach. This is a topic you sistas don’t even realize how much damage and harm it caused. You cannot do go the beach and chill out and get into the water because your textured hair or fake hair will get ruined. Or you cannot put on a body suit because all the spots from poor health will show and stretch marks from your out-of-wedlock pregnancy will be on display and the muffin top and jelly rolls and the boobs on your back shoulders will be seen because you don’t eat right and work out and stay in shape. Then when we brothas go to the beach, we see a black woman originally from Guyana with zero body fat except her booty and smiling and have nice natural hair who eat little red meat and complex carbs like beans and sugars like rice and tree-fruits rich in antioxidants. We brothas go overseas and see that and then we come back to America and we see you sistas and your excuses why you cannot go to the beach with a brotha. These are just a sample of the negative stereotypes that are out there about you sistas and I may have missed many and if there are any brothas out there that have some, feel free to add in the comment section as the sistas need the honest and constructive criticism from us brothas. The Perception is Real and Must Be Addressed perception
“Life without truth is not possible. Truth is perhaps life itself.” - Franz Kafka.
We can transform Franz Kafka quote to also say success without reality is not possible. Reality is perhaps success itself. Your success should be defined by you defining your reality and who you are and not allow perceptions and stereotypes define you. You black women are being damaged in this global economy by these negative perceptions and when I have chicks overseas in a remote part of the world talking about how black women fight each other and hate each other and it is entertaining to watch on TV, that’s a damn problem. How can someone hire an African-American woman to represent and do global deals if this is the stereotype and perception of her worldwide? We African-American men as well as you African-American women have to fight negative perceptions established against us when we go out and try to get positioned in the global economy. Think of Nigerians, they got really bad perceptions about them and have to fight extra hard to overcome negative stereotypes and gain global trust and they do this by being excellent and doing good deeds and going the extra mile when they are global. We have to do this same thing. But sistas have to not only fight global negative perceptions, she have to fight the homegrown negative perceptions that are shared by her own African-American men. Here in Atlanta, I’m seeing dramatic improvement in how sistas carry themselves. The so-called high-maintenance black women we had running acting like her man need to make $350,000/year and have a little thug in him and looking down on any other brotha – she is being wholesale dissed and written off by the brothas at large here in Atlanta. None of us got time for these stuck up ass chicks and don’t give a damn how tight her jeans are and how big her booty is because no one got time for negative black women trying to treat boyfriends like trophies and trying to check out who will spend money on her, screw that nonsense. Most of those type of chicks are now in their late 30s and 40s and over the hill right now and trying to be a cougar in a pathetic fashion right now. What I’m seeing in Atlanta is the young sistas in their 20s and lower 30s going out there way to have a conversation with brothas and sit down with brothas. The young sistas are smiling more also and know the hustle is real out here. So I’m seeing the changes among the young sistas with the brothas but what I want to stress is the stereotypes and perceptions are still out there and the sistas are going to have to do something about it. How to Fight the Negative Stereotype and Perceptions newdirections Love and respect is an earned entitlement – no one gives it to you but you and whoever you work with must work towards it and put forth an investment. To have a good relationship, you both have to establish an environment to talk to each other to engage in putting in work to build a relationship. Too many black women believe being standoffish and waiting to choose a brotha who look like he got it going on is the reason why sistas have so many failed relationships and still single. And also why sistas are pretty crappy at business and customer service with her customers. What you sistas need to focus on is bringing value to the table and putting in the work to invest in a relationship with a brotha. No one need to hear any negative attitudes, complaints and all that crap. This blog for example, I watched stupid sistas come in my comment section thinking they can “tell me off” and tell me I’m mad or bothered when I explained to you earlier I have a chick from London who wake me up via Skype to talk to me about her day so far and for me to have a great day. I have something to wake up to and look forward to and that is a beautiful Afro-European sista acknowledging and validating me every morning. God wakes me up first then an Afro-European sista greets me – that’s the life of a blessed black man right there, bro. But yet, watch some idiot for a black women come into this comment section and think saying something negative supposed to go somewhere and mean something..watch and see. So here is what sistas should do on a personal level to fight the negative perceptions and establish herself to not be part of that negative connation and re-invest in the good brothas and position herself properly in the global economy. You Sistas Talk to a Brotha. It is your burden now as a sista to talk to a good brotha and find out what he is about. For too long, good brothas felt dissed by the sistas chasing knuckleheads and having raw sex/babies with knuckleheads. You sistas cannot fall back and think a brotha going to pick you because there are fine ass Lebanese, Chinese (very aggressive and rich) and Latino chicks who see a black man making over $100,000/year and running after that bro aggressively. Speak up and ask him how his day going and if you haven’t talked to him before, talk to him now and re-establish the bridge between brothas and sistas to at least talk to each other. No one got time for the standoffish crap no more and it’s just negative energy all around. You Sistas Establish Your Brand. I blogged about this on Dream and Hustle extensively on how sistas need to create her own brand identity that consist of both a non-profit cause and a for-profit business venture and have both working to benefit each other to grow your brand and empire as a sista. I was at Goodwill yesterday and ran into a sista who is selecting nice clothes that she sells door to door for sistas in the hood. Man it’s some fine sistas at the Goodwill here in Atlanta, real talk. Show that you not only about business but you do good things for your community. Kill the stereotype that black women are just in the club looking for a rich guy to give booty to and ride in his passenger seat for the rest of her life. Move Towards Health/Wellness. I cannot stress how critical and important this is. Learn to eat right and live right and realize going to Red Lobster and Longhorn and Outback is not living a good life and having dudes always take you out to eat. Ask a brotha do he want to go walking with you in the park or ask a group of people do they want to walk as a group dating event. Best things in life are free like going to the public beach and relax for a few hours in the morning listening to the waves. Eating right like complex carbs and salmon baked at home instead of going out. Start learning how to eat right, measure your activity with a smart watch or wearable fitness tracker and curate a list of health recipes to make and eat for dinner and for social. There are a lot of more suggestions like divest from local black radio that plays negative songs against black women like V-103 here in Atlanta and instead curate your own list of music from digital streaming services out there. Leave the ghetto black church and find your own purpose-driven life and read a Joel Osteen book instead or attend one of this events if he comes to a city near you. And start traveling and looking at how business and activity goes on worldwide and apply those patterns to your empire.

6 thoughts on “What You Can Do Individually as an African-American Woman to Change the Negative Perception Against Sistas

  1. Just an observation from personal experience:

    Get a music streaming service (Pandora, for example). Create a station (70’s R&B, Quiet Storm, Quincy Jones, Teddy Pendagrass, etc.). ONLY listen to those stations.

    Your attitude and life outlook WILL change for the better.

    Ed, you are spot on to point out that sistas of my generation (40’s) are all ALONE, unattractive, and bitter because, I opine, they are the “don’t need a man” or “you are up to no good” generation. They were raised on a musical diet of L’il Kim, Mary J Blige, etc.

    Music sets the mood and mindset for and throughout the day.

    1. Just as an afterthought: Kim and Mary’s personal lives are just as f*cked up as their fans’. Real talk.

  2. JohnQpubliq: You are right. I can’t stand most of today’s music and never got into Mary J Blige or Lil Kim. Years ago I overheard a female say she liked Mary J better when she was sad and miserable. This is the mindset of a lot of women I have observed. This is why I like old school R&B but not all that negative mess.

  3. Thank you so much for this post. I really liked how you not only gave criticism but also stated what can be done to fight these stereotypes/perceptions. And I’m happy to hear the younger sistas in Atlanta seem to be doing better than the generation before them. We have a lot of work ahead of us as a whole, but like you said I have to start with me.

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