My Personal Struggle Finding a Space Between Punishing Bad Behavior to Rewarding Bad Behavior for Non-Support from the Black Community I Love

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I have been deeply conflicted about dealing with the lack of support from the overall black community who pretend I don’t exist as a black tech entrepreneur and expert while these same black people chasing fake news stories about fake black tech entrepreneurs. I have already begun divestment from many black people I knew for years and blogs I read for years because they continued to act like I’m just some basic fucker in tech they can just watch and observe but not speak for or vouch for.

I began to drop childhood friends and alumni who spread fake news or lame cats over Facebook when they personally saw me building HTML web pages in 1994 on Mosaic. I blog for 10 years and black people read the blog, I get the traffic and they then don’t forward the information or don’t even mention Dream and Hustle or seeing what they can “take” and here is the thing, I have no problem with you guys stealing my shit, I have a problem seeing 6 months later, you ain’t done shit special with the shit you taken from me.

And one more thing I have not revealed and it just a rumor – I have quietly divested from Chicago and making Brooklyn my “up North” base outside of Atlanta because I’m just tired of the funny acting peers from Chicago I got who don’t come visit me in Atlanta. When people from Chicago hear you doing really well down in Houston or Atlanta or Los Angeles, they got excuses why they cannot come visit you. I had more fine sistas fly down from Newark, Queens and Brooklyn and Bronx and Harlem to hang out with Ed than sistas I grew up with in Chicago. I can’t give away any much more information than my Chinese bae already up in Brooklyn testing the area for us and right now, we both thinking New York is a nice place to visit and short-term for business but too expensive to make a home. But the point is, I’m strategically cutting ties from the black community that refused to support me when I have a demonstrated skill and work to do something real for the black community upliftment and betterment.

Because of my skills and I already applied on advice of my bae, I can easily go into UK, Singapore, Japan, Australia, China, UAE on a special tech visa due to my skillset in tech and I actually have invitations to be sponsored and move to these countries to operate Swagg-Scientific as an entrepreneur. So I can easily disappear and show up as an expat in another country making hard ass moves and forget where I come from and use none of my skills to help the black community I was raised in but did not support me when I worked my ass off learning how to support my own community back. But black folks want spread fake news or hear someone talk shit instead of roll up their sleeves and make work to make shit happen.

But the evil Ed side of me that telling me to fuck the black community for not supporting me even has to be honest – most of these fake black folks are Internet avatars at best. In the real world, black people do support me and what I do and are excited. But in reality, if black people are not speaking up for me, then I cannot be effective in supporting my people and if black people are speaking up for fake news characters, then black folks are fucking themselves supporting fake people who won’t do anything for them. But is that what black people really want, nobody to do nothing for them? This is the internal struggle I have to define as where do I position a strategy that allow me to support the black community but say fuck the black people who didn’t support me but was supporting fake news? I also have to keep in mind I cannot support black people who don’t support me because I will be rewarding bad behavior towards me, hurting myself while benefiting those that were adversarial to me.

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This is not unique to me – this is the struggle of every emerging leader or talent who is compelled to serve a higher calling. We can look at the bible where Moses went up the mountain to speak to God about establishing Hebrew laws and the folks at the bottom, what the fuck the people do? Some dude created a fake golden calf idol to spread fake news and those Hebrews started worshipping that shit, even after God parted the Red Sea for their ass a few weeks ago. Jesus walking on water and raising people from the dead and breaking off fish and biscuits to feed a whole group of people and these people still end up screaming “crucify him!” at a Trump-like Roman rally where they captured Jesus after being betrayed by one of his apostles. So this conflict and struggle existed as long as civilization existed, period. So forgiving them for not what they do is exactly what is being said in this blog article and the question – do you forgive black people for not what they do? Or do you say fuck black people for what they did not do which is support you and just go do you in this world? Why help black people who ain’t showing you any love back?

But the problem is there are innocent black people and they get caught up in your overall retaliation against black people you want to retaliate against for wanting to hear fake news instead of real solutions to uplifting and bettering the black community. We been hurt economically when a black-owned business shut down and say fuck the black community for treating black businesses like shit while black folks run out to the suburbs and spend their money with the white malls they can’t get a job at. Think about it – these same black people struggle to find employment and complaining they cannot find a job but do not support their community black entrepreneurs that can give them jobs. I seen plenty of black bloggers who gave up, some even commit suicide being disappointed trying to blog about black information only to see black people outright ignore it and then you see these same black folks sharing fake news or talking up WorldStarHipHop or MediaTakeOut instead. If you look at every African conflict where genocide occurred and rebels rape and kill civilians, you will see the same background – the rebels attacked the local villagers because the villagers supported the corrupt African leaders in power instead of rise up for their own best interest. And doing nothing under oppression is the same as supporting oppression.

Look, I got the technology and business models figured out nicely to better the black community but I just don’t have the overall support I need from the black community in comparison to other communities. Let me clarify, I do got support from a beautiful UK black community with beautiful black people and I’m beginning to love what I’m seeing in the UK. But I do know there are good brothas and sistas out there who truly support me in a real way in the real world. So turning evil against black people by fully divesting my skills from being benefited by black folks like many others who came before me has done, I want to think differently about the approach. That is the struggle of how to say I want to help the black community but fuck the black folks who pretended I didn’t exist or didn’t support me or acted funny.

I cannot say I solved this personal struggle and conflict and just acknowledging that everybody goes through this. The one thing I do know is I can filter out the bozos but filtering out blacks will make me an elitist and a gatekeeper and maybe I have to accept that is probably the only way to do it. But that is probably the struggle and what God and the Bible has been teaching me and been denying it. Maybe there are chosen people who make the higher calling and they have to associate only with other chosen people. Maybe the mass and majority of people are fucking sheep or lambs or whatever, just here mortally to basically eat and shit and die. Maybe I want to believe in populism that everybody is smart enough to know their best interest but history has shown over and over individuals have to become revolutionary and vicious warlords or dictators and force the will upon the ignorant mass to follow. That is the struggle as violent rebellions that target both the government and civilians using terrorism and atrocities is the popular path nobody wants to go but it just keep ending up that way throughout history.

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Or maybe I need to accept my primal nature that I am an omnivore that preys on the weak to maintain my own survival. That the majority of docile black people should be used and misled with fake news and emotional appeal and that is just the way it is. Maybe I should engage in fake news and misleading black people as well and look after myself and my interest instead as Mother Nature intelligently designed me to be. I cannot do that even if that is my nature because I have a higher calling that does not accommodate me reducing myself to primal instincts. Any fucking organism or animal can devolve to their primal instincts and I refuse to live a cheap mortal life that reduced myself to that level of living this life I’m blessed to enjoy every morning I can wake up.

What I’m going to do for now is negotiate my internal struggle. I’m going to have to accept the majority of black people are sheep and not willing to work collectively for their own best interest – our history already proven this and I cannot deny this fact about our people overall. I’m also going to accept that there are a chosen few who are led by their own calling and there are those who support those who chose to pursue their calling and focus on surrounding myself around these people. The best I can do is lift myself up and express how I truly feel which is fuck the clowns that didn’t support me and give those that do support me all of the best I can give them to hopefully give value and purpose to creating a better situation for all.

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