Dream and Hustle

How to Date Properly in Japan, Free Content from a Real One

Saturday, June 15, 2024

I’m seeing a lot of fake content and fluff content on dating in Japan and Japanese women. Either it’s a monkey-headed sista like Tasha K putting out lies about Japan looking to pay Black men like Tasha K did lies on Cardi B. Or it’s some cornball dude like the International Passport character who just creating content for a cornball audience where they all talking. Notice these two I just mentioned are not African-American ADOS, by the way.

I want to call out people like Dennis Spurling and that Oshay Duke Jackson vloggers who repeated that lie Tasha K said about Japan paying brothas to get their women pregnant because they should have known better as Black men based in America to repeat that nonsense to an audience of young brothas. Those two brothas saw how Tasha K was running from Cardi B and still went on their YouTube and quoted Tasha K about Japan to other Black men who may not know truth from fiction. I’m beginning to see as a grown Black man where these other Black men on YouTube really stand and their center.  That Oshay dude is a lil B and I’ll leave it at that what I think of him and his content.

This article is mostly for African-American men because there is a real synergy and history with Japanese culture and African-American culture dating back 100 years the same way there is a Dutch culture and Japanese culture dating back a few hundred years as well. Also there is a lot of lies and misinformation because Japan is marketed that way as this mysterious “oriental” place when in fact, it has similar synergies to urban Black Americana throughout our history.

Before we get started, I want you to look at the cover photo of us that was illustrated by GenAI – this is based on a real photo of me and my boo thang in Japan. I want you to notice something as real receipts – look at what we are wearing, look and recognize what you see.

You see her wearing her business attire, don’t you? You also see me wearing a white shirt with a black vest as well, don’t you? That means I’m waiting for her after work to go out to eat for dinner and she meet at the subway station. That’s not some TikTok Japanese dating rizz; this is a real relationship of substance and solid.  That means I have a real woman in Tokyo I can be a gentleman towards and she is my lady while I’m in Atlanta shopping at Kroger quietly laughing at these stank-attitude sistas acting like she all that to a high-value brotha.

I’m going to give you brothas the real and proper way to date and I’m not a cornball selling content; I don’t need your money like that. However, there is one caveat – I cannot help a fat, ugly brotha like that one dude that was on YouTube complaining about Zoom to Thailand taking his money for consulting and he sitting in a truck talking smack but not showing you his fat lardass body that no skinny Thai chick want to be crushed under. I cannot help you ugly ass goofy cats that think you can get advice and that will take you somewhere and you not handling your own as a man – damn generation of soft weak followers.

Japan is Old School

To understand dating in Japan, you would have to grew up dating in the 1970s, 1980s and early 1990s. Japan biggest characteristic that makes Japan awesome is they have elements stuck in a time warp and preserve traditional and good things we have abandoned as a people.

There are old school photos of Black dating where you see both a beautiful Black couple dressed formally and proper. This is dating in Japan in 2024 and if you meet the right one, you will have one of the most fulfilled and proper dating experience ever in your life. You will get a taste and a footprint of how proper Black love used to be back in the days, brotha.

Notice the cover photo again, I’m dressing business casual waiting for my boo thang at the train station, she arrives and we walk arm-in-arm to find a place to eat for dinner, we sit down and talk, we hail a cab and I open the door and I take a grown woman home and kiss her off until next time. You brothas are not experiencing that in 2024 but brothas and sistas was doing that from 1974 to 1994.

Preparing Yourself as a Brotha

As an American Black man, I want to share my biggest mistake and challenge I want you to avoid at all cost. When I started dating in Japan, I had carried over the toxic, nonsensical BS I was putting up with dating American sistas my entire life into dating Japanese women. I acted in a way that was defensive, having to “act hard” because sistas don’t like nice brothas, and said things that were not cool and proper.

I want you to admit and recognize as a brotha, you had these lived toxic experiences dating American sistas and promise to yourself and that good woman in your future, you will not bring that mess into that relationship. The biggest failure point I see among passport bros is they bring their toxic habits overseas and wonder why they end up having to pay for cheap sex and swiping on Tinder instead of being a proper gentleman that attract proper women overseas, which is actually the easiest and cheapest way to dating and relationship fulfilment.

Second thing and the most important – you have to learn the language or some of it before you arrive in Japan. Learn to say “Ohio goes high in mass” which means good morning or “Kobin wa” which is good evening and “Doy test it mas they” which is you welcome when you hear “arrigato” or thank you and you would be go very far in establishing repertoire real fast.

When they see you being proper in the Starbucks café line in Japan even two people behind you, those ladies noticed and they will smile and try to talk to you because they respect you respecting their culture.

Where to Meet Women

I will give three locations where I met Japanese women and started to date them. This is real world and you know the funny part? This is how you met women back in the 1980s and 1990s in America.

The Airport Lobby Flying to Japan. I have met so many cool Japanese women on the flight to Japan hours before takeoff and took their Line or WhatApp information before boarding. I would be walking with them at the airport terminal to grab something to eat. Please be mindful that I’m attractive so if you are an ugly brotha, this not going to work for you. Talk about where you will be staying in Japan and what you want to do and ask if they doing anything that weekend or in the evening and can meet at a train station – she already know the game and plan you presenting and just give her the option.

Note for Ugly Brothas. The number one reason you brothas are ugly and unattractive is because you don’t take care of yourself and handle yours – women have primal instinct to recognize this about a man for mating selection. It is not based on your looks. Some of you brothas are punks on stuff like TikTok or a YouTube comment section typing dumb shit and wonder why your whole essence is weak and unattractive. Out here following another man talking on YouTube too much. Dress like a gentleman, take care of your body, be proper and learn mannerism – don’t read my shit and advice and think you can move like me or other brothas like Auston Holleman who does present himself like a man when he travels. Get yourself together, tired of looking at and hearing from fat-neck clowns who think they can move like real brothas in this world.

Don Quixote After Hours. This is a general merchandise store in Tokyo and the biggest worst-kept secret. You go there after 9pm and it’s like going to Wal-Mart at night as well – except in Don Quixote, you running into some fine women not only Japanese but other parts of Asia and some of them thick and juicy, especially from China and Vietnam. I also met some East European women and was able to date over coffee and crumb cake or go to a food hall. Notice, none of these other Japanese dating clowns selling you e-books did not mention this – this is the number one place to meet new chicks in Japan. Guess what – that’s how you met chicks back in the 1980s shopping at Montgomery Wards or Woolworth in the city, right? Told you Japan was old school.

The Train Station, Passively. If you are a brotha, you should remember when in Rome, do what the Romans do. When you take the train in Tokyo, the Japanese men are dressed business casual, they wear nice mechanical watches, and have a nice satchel and appear humble and proud of their work life. You better dress the same way and act the same way when you get on that Japanese train system. When you do, you are back in 1980s and 1990s Chicago and New York and Washington DC train system where you met professional sistas on the train. In Japan, you do not have to act, you dress and act the part. I had on occasions and this is 1000% true, Japanese women on crowded trains move towards me and press their Japanese booty on me against my leg on purpose or when they sleep, they sleep learning on me and my shoulder like we know each other.  When I’m waiting on the train, they get behind me or smile walking past me because I’m dressed like a professional and I look just like the Japanese men. I get grown and sexy Japanese proper-dressed women that way. I want to be honest, nothing turn me on that seeing a sea of professional dressed women at the train station because it reminded me of taking the Chicago train when I was a kid and the grown Black women I saw that I wanted to get with when I grew up.

How to Date

I want you to understand something about Japanese women and it is also reflected on my cover photo. Japanese people have jobs and work long days. In America, these rachet sistas you can visit on your lunch break and she be at home all day entertaining broke dudes with no job while you at work. You have to respect and move around Japanese work culture.

You have only two opportunities in Japan – after work and on weekends. When Japanese women have vacation such as Golden Week, respect the fact they may want to use that vacation time to visit family and hang out with their girlfriends that you can have access to as well - didn’t want to go there but it is what it is.

Before I get started, a quick warning – these are awesome experiences you do not have in America that I’m going to provide. We used to have these options back in the 1980s and early 1990s but are still intact in Japan.

Go to Exhibits. The first experience I recommend and to be honest; she will recommend it to you is to go to a pop-up exhibit or a new location such as Shibuya Sky or Roppongi Hills or Azabudai Hills or Odaiba. You can meet her there or she will meet you at a connecting train station and you will be communicating when you both arrive at the station together then meet up – I love this experience because she is excited to meet you. TeamLab is the exhibit you should always suggest as the first date.

Go Out to Eat. This is where things get tricky. In general, Japanese women do not eat ramen dishes, you mostly see men at ramen spots. Japanese women do not eat fast food either. They are concern about their body image so keep this in mind. Where you go with Japanese to eat are places called izakaya that is both a bar and smaller snacks. Just tell her and she will take you to where she comfortable at. Overall, let her lead on where to go and eat.  Now there is one place Japanese women love Saturday and Sunday morning and that is Denny’s – they are so 1980s and 1990s, I keep telling you.

Meet at Café. Japanese cafes are good for Saturday afternoon and early evening to just have a sit down with someone you just met even walking down a street. My favorite spot is Blue Bottle Café, especially the one in Roppongi. The second biggest place where I find nice quality women is Mos Café in Ginza Nine where I bring my Surface and do work and empire planning.

Weekend at Shinjuku or Tokyo Station. On the weekend, your hard-working Japanese lady if you spent quality time will want to take a day trip out. She will have her small carry-on suitcase suited for the bullet train or bus station ready for you to travel out of town with her and rent a hotel in Kyoto or Hakone. Make sure you plan with her on all of the details as Japanese women love planning and again, let her lead and be humble.

I want to explain something real quick – do you noticed I’m not mentioning Shinjuku or meeting women there? There are certain type of Japanese women where some are 304s and some are runaways trying to sell it and that’s mostly in Shinjuku and in my opinion, I rather deal with a tacky American chick instead of flying all the way to Tokyo for a tacky Japanese chick hanging out in Shinjuku.

The kind of Japanese women I’m describing to you are working-class, professionals who live in their own shoebox apartment or live with her parents but enjoy their time off to the fullest. There are other types of women such as Ebisu and Chiba where some of them are blue collar and in the service sector. Also if you are a solid brotha like me, my preference is the Minato lady and Ginza because they have class and respect a brotha that got his act together.

Don’t Always Expect Follow Ups

If you ever raised chickens, you would realize some small chicks will just drop dead from fright because they are fragile. Some Japanese women like to ghost on their men and they are fragile as well. Japanese has a strong ghosting culture where they will disappear on a brotha and you don’t know why.

Most Western men get mad as hell at this and start hating Japanese women and talk bad about them; I felt that way about Japanese women when I started getting ghosted on. I felt that was a weak trait and character.

But then I realize the environment that makes dating easy, makes it easy to ghost as well. In addition, like Chicago or New York where a brotha can meet 3-5 fine chicks a day just commuting or going on an errand, Tokyo is the same way. Remember that Japanese women have a lot going on, with family, with her own biology, her work pressures, having a work boyfriend or some other guy in the shadows and you cannot control this.

What I recommend is to keep dating in Japan even if you found a date. Until you actually bond and grow with someone, do not sit around trying to nurture a relationship. Just find someone who wants to hang out with you on demand and just keep having fun. The right woman will switch her whole world up to accommodate you and that’s when you know.

Don’t Look Back, Don’t Go Back

I will recommend every young brotha try dating in Japan to learn the ropes on being a proper gentleman. Learn to dress proper, learn to walk with your briefcase and satchel and feel comfortable being a smart, gifted, and professional Black man moving through Tokyo. Learn how to be with a woman that cares about you.

When I’m going out with my Japanese boo thang, she loves to speak assertively in Japanese and I understand her Japanese, what I want to eat and she make sure the food is good for me. She takes care of me and she cares about me and my business that I’m working on. I don’t give a damn about anything else when I have this kind of woman in my life, especially these stank attitude sistas in Atlanta while I’m shopping at Kroger.

I’m going to be honest – there is no way I’m going back to dating the nonsense I did in America. The whole encounters, proper dating, the conversations, the spots that create space for connections in Tokyo and Kyoto – I cannot even imagine going back to the nonsense.

Here is a last-minute secret – want to know another place to meet Japanese women? At the coin-operated laundromat in Tokyo – see, this is 1980s and 1990s all over again for me. That’s the time when you could actually meet a sista, walk hand-in-hand down the street and she wearing proper attire and you can present yourself properly and engage in courtship.

Once you learn to date around in Tokyo, you will learn a valuable skill on selecting and treating quality women proper, a skill you can take anywhere in the world. 


Ed Dunn

From Chicago West Side to Worldwide