The biggest misdirection many of you have fallen for is you have an abundance of choices to find that special person. No, you don’t – I want to make sure you understand that.

These dating apps got you thinking you got unlimited options with a swipe. Dating apps are a scam with an algorithm that present the best-looking to you to keep you paying subscription fees.

Social media got many of these people being attention whores, looking for mass appeal of likes, follows, and comments. Social media led you to believe to chase these like and follow metrics instead find your actual tribe and space.

What happens in the real world – many of you spend years of delusional thinking chasing everybody, trying to be attractive to everybody, and end up with nobody at the end of the day. I see it all the time, it just didn’t pan out for them.

Even if you find someone, you start to question are they really there for you, really want to be with you or they find you a utility for the moment. In most cases and I see it all the time, I see couples where one has a wandering eye, as if they looking for something else than who they are with right now. I was like that because I realize I was with someone that was mid and lame that I should have never been with.

Almost 8 years ago, when I met the young Japanese women for the first time through an introduction, I knew and she knew right then and there, we had feelings and a bond right then and there. There were no made-up walls, barriers that Black women like to put up, or judgement – we knew we were the one for each other.

I keep explaining to you African-American sistas that a man knows in seconds if you the one he wants to be with and eventually marry. But you sistas start resorting to stupid sh*t towards that dude, judging him, making up rules of engagement, and completely f*ck up the whole situation to be with a good quality man that truly want to be with you sand go places.

Another problem is everybody looking for a ready-made person that got to be shaped like this, have money like that and have all these expectations when they are not perfect or meet the standard they want from others.

All you need in life is that one person – there is no need to be broadcasting yourself out to a mass of people, thinking you can be choosy among all of them. Just go and seek that one person out, that is all you need.

This is why it is advisable for men to immediately reject any woman who present herself to thirsty simps, just to have them add comments. Brotha, get that woman out of your entire ethos the moment she presents herself as such. Find you a woman looking to be a wife or that special partner with you specifically.

That is my Japanese woman and I’m so glad we met. I never felt genuinely cared for as a brotha, supported as a brotha, having a real companion and help mate as a brotha until I met her and how we grew and even when stuff got awkward, we saw our long-term goal of each other bigger than the awkwardness and misunderstandings.

Sistas, stop broadcasting yourself to a bunch of men, all you attracting are the losers, the players, and the berserkers. Present yourself as a one-man woman and realize it’s going to be one good man, and that’s all you need – that one good man. Learn to recognize him when you see him because when you do, you don’t need to play stupid games – he is the one and he is ready right now.

In my story, I have someone I want to go travel the world with once I get everything up and running. I been to Paris before but I want to go to Paris with her. I listened to Luther Vandross and Freddie Jackson before, but I want to listen again with her. I want to see her ancestral home, want to book a oceanfront condo in Kamakura for the weekend with her. I want us to discover the world together – that is the kind of relationship that has meaning.

Instead of making judgements about someone else, trying to compete with other people to be with someone trying to appeal to everybody, just keep looking for that one who is truly interested in you and that was their only purpose in life, to meet you as the individual you are.

At this point, no one should be looking for someone who is liked by everybody, or someone who is trying to be attractive to everybody. Just find that one person who make you feel this is the one person you just need and can grow with, wonder the world with. That’s all you need.