The pattern is real, high quality brothas are choosing to walk away from dating and relationships with sistas. More and more smart, high-value men are realizing dating in the West is now a trap game and analyzing the pluses and minuses. Right now, the brothas are feeling there is little upside and too much downside dating and having a relationship with the sistas. 

If he is a true high-value man, he is always going to look at his options. Here is what he going to decide as a factor:

Collective Conscious. Our sistas watching Tyler Perry movies trying to emasculate Black men. Noticed Tyler Perry never targeted hood dudes, Tyler targeted men who look high-value, did you notice that pattern from Tyler Perry? Or Beyonce singing independent ladies stuff but married a husband and kids. Or following the toxic anti-men mess on TikTok. There is no “not all sistas” - it’s mass psychosis where all the sistas endorse the same thought by consuming the same information sources, even if they claim they don’t agree with it, consumption is endorsement. 

Used Range Rover HSE. Is she like a used Range Rover that is attractive, looks well-built but when you buy into it, problems begin to show? It becomes a money pit, always in the shop, expensive to maintain, one problem after another, and not getting the full satisfaction of the purchase? A lot of sistas are like that used Range Rover, just a chaos monkey creating new problems instead of having anything constructive to contribute and create conflicts instead of cooperation. 

His Options Overseas. A brotha is going to consider that overseas trad chick who has been raised to focus on her role in the family unit and respect his role in leading the family unit. Once a good brotha stamped his passport and saw his options, he is likely going to take the risk with an overseas woman more compatible with his idea of a future wife than the women back home in the West. 

Solomaxxing. This is the option the sistas did not expect. The brotha is going to look at his own life and decide he doesn't want to commit to any more relationships and just enjoy his life and find his purpose. He will just disengage from the Western dating scene all together. This option frustrates the sistas because he chose himself and his peace over playing or participating in a game that requires him to sacrifice his identity and his hard work for someone other than himself. 

The new breed of good brothas today are learning they have to be strict in requirements on day one. He has to reject her fast at the first red flag and establish zero tolerance now, or pay the price later. The first few seconds of seeing her and she has a non-friendly look, reject her and keep looking for that good first impression, don’t try to make her smile. 

He is going to check for one thing - is she crazy about him or impressed with him at first sight? Or does she think she can do better or got better options out there? If he sees or feels she thinks she got choices, which she does not, he will reject her immediately because he does not have time for a woman who does not realize his presence or any good man's presence in her life is always a random chance of good fortune. 

Let me explain something to you sistas as an older brotha - I see it all the time among my women who are peers. She always admits to a life of regret turning down good brothas or badly treated good brothas who could have given her a better life when she was younger. She is all old and sagging in her late 30s and 40s now figuring out she was supposed to build a once-in-a-lifetime legacy with a man that would be her soulmate companion and she messed it all up and won’t get that chance back ever again. 

High Value is Not Money, It’s the Moves

Sistas out here believe she can compete with her man. Her biggest flawed thinking is to try to compare tangibles like how much money she makes, what material possessions she owns. Unfortunately, the laws of nature are still operating as usual in the real world where men have to battle over land and resources in a territorial fashion. 

It is silly for a sista to think she can compete with a man or her man in the relationship dynamic. For one, a man is expected to lose his life or take another man life for his household and his family, you sistas cannot do that and don’t have it in you, just screaming to get a man's attention to help you. A married man, trust me if he is a real one - he has on his primal mind how to kill another dude that is intruding on his territory and bothering his family. 

It’s not the material tangibles, it’s the moves a man has to make. A man is expected to work 10 to 12 hours a day and come home and his wife feeds him and puts him to bed and he gets up and goes back out to work those same hours every day. 

When a man enters a conference room in the UAE or China, he is going to project strength and power a lot different than women in a room full of both men and women to close that deal. We make moves differently and nothing going to change that nature. 

Sistas don’t know how to respect the roles and try to compete instead of cooperate. A based Korean-American woman will pick out a power suit for her Black man, pull out the measuring tape and tickling a brotha, making him squirm and giggle, and then she will get on the sewing machine tailor the power suit and tell him he has to close the deal - she know her role in helping her Black man perform his role to get a win for the family and they are cooperating. 

Feminism Harmed the Sistas More Than She Realized

Sistas need to acknowledge the biggest contributor to the mess is the feminists. No one should allow any fringe group from feminists to nationalists interfere with their day-to-day real world interactions with the people in their lives. Never put someone else's ideology over your reality. 

The feminists were not empowering the sistas, they were maligning men against sistas to create a wedge hoping to move the sistas towards her fringed rhetoric. Real empowerment is no different between the genders. A man is focused on how he can be a better man for his woman and what they are as a couple. A woman should be focused on how to be a better woman for her man and what they are as a couple. 

No house can be built on divisiveness, maligning, or competing. True love is built on cultivating the best of me and you to bring out the best of us. 

Zero Incentive Good Brotha to Chase a Sista

Look at the entire lifespan of the high value Black man from boy to manhood. He has to fight his own brothas in these streets and not give in to vices as a young man. He has to go fight in wars to fund his college tuition when he becomes a veteran. He has to stay in his books in college while the dormitory whore is trying to pull him off his books to go do it but he stays in his books for his future wife. 

He goes into the workforce and has to deal with racism and also deal with other jealous Black folks who are not happy he is dedicated to his craft and cashing in the big checks. He built his character up, his cash up, and ready to find his helpmate to create a lifelong companionship. 

He goes into the dating marketplace at Black spaces and he sees what he saw. He meets sistas who have kids out of wedlock, not just one, but two or three with different baby daddies. Some of these women are validating thugs and degenerate males. She then creates unrealistic expectations of what a man should make and what materialistic tangibles he should have to win her over. 

If he makes $345K, then the sista wants a brotha to make $545K, just making up nonsense. My favorite one? She wants a man that can pay her to travel the world but doesn't realize he got to work even as a CEO and if he can travel around the world, why would he bring a chick from the West with him? 

Good brothas who are wearing Rolexes and Cartier watches have to ask what is the incentive for him to deal with a sista? He is going to reach the conclusion that there is zero incentive to date a sista because he is not going to risk everything he built to lose it to a sista who did nothing to help him build up. In addition, he has other options where if he wants to deal with a chick that has nothing special to offer, he can find a Catholic Latina or Filipina that will respect the  household and manhood. 

The only incentive for a good Black man is to have a solid woman in his life. He is looking for a woman who has a background helping him build and is cooperative and complimentary. 

Can Sista Regain Her Leverage?

The answer is conditional - sistas over 40 are going to take the blame for creating the mess Black relationships are in and will be excluded and banned from the repair job. Someone has to take the fall and the blame and the sistas over 40 was part of the nonsense. 

The sistas under 40 have to pivot away from the older sistas and get back to femininity. This is what a sista has to do: 

Open Her Mouth First. One of the things I noticed is sistas are acting like brothas should approach them. Sistas created a hostile environment for brothas to talk to her and she has to open her mouth first to a good brotha. Asian and Latina and these superfine African chicks always talking to a brotha first, trust me sista. You sistas better show intention - he built himself up and he is not a mind reader - open your damn mouth first and talk to the brotha. 

Call out Feminism. Brothas are not looking at feminists or care how they operate. What a brotha is observing is how the sistas are not calling out feminism and the harm they are trying to bring to the Black man and Black woman as a couple. 

Focus on Us. This has to be a learned pattern that sistas must adopt. I spoke in my podcast that my Japanese woman and I have flaws that would break up anybody else out there. I don’t eat what she eats, I’m not fluent in Japanese to hear her jokes and talking about her day. She doesn't understand my grind since she is a Japanese corporate worker. But what we have is the drive to make our love mean something as a couple - the focus on us. I never had this before in any relationship I had with a sista. Stop talking about what you want or you don’t like this or that about him, people are judging the “us” factor and if you build the “us” part up in any relationship you had in the past. 

Intangibles. No one gives a crap about your Hermes or your G-Wagon, sista. The strip club is full of married brothas making it rain on cheap strippers because the well-off woman at home is too independent and full of herself. Miami is full of chicks that can fly out to Atlanta, Houston, Chicago, New York and book the hotel in her name and invite that married man over during his work lunch hours or morning wood moment before clocking in - you don’t know the levels in this game, sista. His main motivation is intimacy, service and support, and complimentary and cooperative in the family planning and legacy building - the intangibles. 

Sistas have to take the initiative to repair the mess that she made. She is losing more and more high value good brothas and these types of men take 20-25 years to build, quality brothas do not grow on trees or grow like tilapia. 

You sistas get a once-in-a-lifetime chance on a good brotha. I’m at the age where I see the regret of these older women who acted a total fool in her youth towards good brothas and regret that mistake. The brothas are not playing anymore and their standards are strict and will reject a sista at the first sign of a red flag. 

Don't let this go on any worst sista - fix your mess.