Dream and Hustle

Good Brothas Should Ignore the Sistas Waiting at the Finish Line

Saturday, February 24, 2024

One of the biggest contentions of my life as a Black man was how Black women treated me and the other brothas. At first, I thought it was just me the sistas acted funny with, but I found out later it was mostly all the good brothas out here striving to be a proper man to his woman, his kids, his community.

I grew up in the Black community, indoctrinated under a dogma of what kind of Black man I need to be to find a sista to take on as a lover and a wife. I need to have a good career, be in shape, be presentable, have lots of money, a good credit score, and drive a nice vehicle.

Good brothas went out, worked their tail off, and sacrificed through studying, hustling, and trial and error. Good brothas also avoided the pitfalls of being caught up in criminal activities, getting another young lady pregnant and save himself for that special lady in his future.

The brotha ran the race with these goals as he headed toward the finish line.

As these brothas like myself are running to the finish line, sweating and panting – we look over at the sistas on the side of the road. What we saw shook all good brothas to their core as we were running.

We saw the sistas smiling and laughing with the garbage brothas. But we also saw the sistas sitting on her butt not running the race either and she thinking that we brothas view her as the prize when we cross the finish line.

That is enough for brothas like me to become discouraged and drop out of the race altogether and wonder what the hell I’m racing for. But something happened to good brothas like myself.

While running the race, I encountered a beautiful, spirited CCP Chinese woman running on the same track, and she started running next to me. This is what brothas experience when they get into high-paying jobs and their own business; they see primarily Asian, Indian, and East European ladies in the race running on the road with a brotha.

What I experienced from 2010 to today was Asian women supporting me and helping me find where I’m trying to go.  I have never experienced this kind of support in the Black community. It was the first time ever I experienced having women actually supporting what I’m doing and running with me to get there. They wanted to see me win as their happiness.

This is the moment most good brothas are experiencing in 2024 – women from all over the world are trying to find out what race the high-value good brothas are running and get on the same track with them. Some of these ladies, when they run in front of a brotha, got a little jiggle in the wiggle where a good Black man realizes sistas are not the only play in town.

A high-value good brotha that put in the work to be the man he is today needs to bypass any sista waiting for them at a finish line. Just keep running brotha, keep running.

You brothas stayed in the books at college instead of going out drinking and smoking weed. You stayed at the job past the time everybody else clock out to focus on completion and extra skill building, you started that business and enterprise when everybody doubted you or didn’t care about your entrepreneurial goals.

Now, you are at the airport lounge in Doha en route to Dubai courtesy of your Capital One Venture X or AMEX Platinum, meeting fine Japanese and Chinese women who are now running to Dubai to be part of the scene. You made it brotha and you need to read the room and analyze were the sistas waiting at the finish line for you the actual prize?

No, and I will break this down in a future article and even an e-book. When a high-value man run the numbers and read the room, the sistas were simply not there on the road with a brotha, the other chicks around the world were running alongside a brotha.

But there is one part that the sistas didn’t figure out but you brothas have reached what you thought was the finish line.

You find out this was not a race, and there is no finish line. You discovered that you are on your life journey and you do not get a replay in this one life you got. You look at who is there with you right here, right now as you journey to your destination and the sistas were on the sidelines and waiting.

The sistas were acting a fool and making up unrealistic standards and expectations but she ain’t doing anything on her own accord. But you looking around and seeing other ladies from around the globe on the same journey – you then realize and appreciated who validated you, who supported you, and who was actually there with you, feet on the ground.

Brothas, you only get one shot at life and this is not a race, this is purposeful fulfilment we are on a journey towards. The sistas have went astray making demands out of a good brotha and she over there hanging with Pookie until she gets old and worn out and expect a good brotha to pick her up in her 40s and 50s.

I look back on my life, even back in college and discovered I had a fine Ethiopian chick following me around campus and having time to talk to me and saying positive things. I also had a interracial sista who was a track athlete and very thick who invited me over to talk about being in college. While in the computer lab working on Internet commercial ventures under an .edu domain in 1994, there was two Indonesian brown-skinned, almond-eyes ladies who was very cute and talking to me as well.

I have ignored these non-Black ladies and their gestures focusing on so-called “Black queens” on campus and their made-up criteria and BS on what a Black man should be while the sistas being ran through by the Black fraternities.

It was too late for me to realize who was supporting me as I was running on my journey to a destination. I hope you young good brothas out there really look around and appreciate who is actually there with you on your journey to excellence and fulfilment. A bunch of chicks waiting for you at the finish line is not your destination and where you want to end up – this is a lifelong journey from start to finish and focus on those who were actually with you on the way to where you headed. 


Ed Dunn

From Chicago West Side to Worldwide