The Afroasiatic journey is an opportunity to create a borderless Black identity in a new world. It requires facing loneliness and finding inner peace to move forward with purpose.

This article aims to help sistas get ready for their journey. It begins with having the right mindset—understanding your purpose and feeling confident in your chosen path.

One challenge I have noticed is that some women may experience low self-confidence and find it difficult to be independent. They might frequently enter new relationships, believing that starting a new relationship helps them move on from a previous one.  

The other issue is the girlfriends – they are telling a sista stuff like “don’t date him!” and the sista don’t realize this is not coming from a place of protection and support. It comes from a place of jealousy and sabotage. Too many sistas learn too late the fake sisterhood was not operating in her best interest, but against it.

We brothas observe this pattern about sistas from a distance. Once we see a sista engaged in these patterns, we dismiss her, but also, we brothas feel sad and disappointed about having to come to that decision.

You cannot expect a true-life partner, opportunities to manifest in your purpose, if you do not have confidence in yourself and just around other men, other girlfriends instead of being the projection of a true independent woman.

You must learn to love yourself. This means loving yourself more than having the need to be associated with external elements that include other people, and other affinities.

To accomplish this, you must:

Be Single-First. This means you do not pursue dates after dates; you pursue your purpose first. Anybody who does not show the energy to align with your purpose does not serve any purpose to the path you are taking.

Plan Big Picture. Understand where you are at and where you are destined to be. This is your true-life journey of growth and development to fulfillment. Never ask or answer the question where you want to be in 5 years – ask what is your true inner calling that drives you?

Plan Roadmaps. Now you must establish the roadmap to get to where you need to be in your purpose. Many people had to travel and find places to be at in order to realize where they are headed.  

For me, I found my place in Japan on frequent visits early in my journey. It took me away from the negative and toxic environment of the American Black identity construct. I discovered people around the world who were my true tribe and vibe with what I’m doing, where I’m going.

You should observe and witness a full manifestation of myself at this juncture of my life. I shed the gaslighting, unsupportive, praise-withholding, toxic people out of my life. I embraced the people that showed up in my life, the Asian chicks, the elite colleagues in my profession, friends, mentors, and others. I stopped forcing the Black identity construct and embraced what was meant for myself to discover and experience.

If you are moving Afroasiatic, you are going to be a sista in Asia, new land, new people. You don’t start chasing Black men by default, you don’t start joining Black in Thailand Facebook groups – you reset your table and decide to let the world show you what is next.

To truly learn about yourself, start by loving and caring for yourself. Pursue your goals, explore new experiences, connect with people who value you, and remember what matters most.

Be the person that can stand there by yourself and look out like a bird in the sky towards the world and be ready to do this for the inner child and the future self. Once you can do that by yourself, that’s when you find self-love, and everything will fall into place.