First of all, this article is not an “Asian women are better than black women” article – I still date fine black women just as well as other women around this world. What this article will say is I no longer subscribe to “race-loyalty” based love that has been nothing but a disappointment to me when it came to the nonsense, the shit I had put up with dealing exclusively with African-American sistas. 

I never in my life growing up thought I would be dating Asian women – I’m from the public housing projects and the West Side of Chicago and all I knew and grew up with is the sistas. And like every other black man, my dream women I wanted when I grow up was a light-skinned sista with light eyes, long straight processed hair and she thicker than a Snicker. All I know is I did all the right things all my life as a brotha to set myself up to be the right man for that black woman when we meet as adults. 

But something happened as I was growing up – the sistas were chasing knuckleheads, dudes she knew would run as soon as she said she pregnant, chasing fantasy talking about she want a man that makes six-figures a year and she working as a drive-thru cashier and dumping fries in the fryer. Then the tipping point was the sistas started talking about a TV show called Scandal – man I said I was done with these damn sistas and the garbage they were on. I had no plan to date non-black women because I didn’t know anything about any girls except African-American sistas but I wanted something other than this silly nonsense the sistas was on. 

I work in the tech industry meaning I work around a lot of women from all over the world. I never paid any of them any attention until I had this first encounter. I walked into a break room at a job and saw one of my co-workers, this Asian women with tight jeans on and noticed her booty and hips were well-shaped for her proportions – I had to pause and she turned around and saw me looking at her from behind. I played it off but she noticed me. Later, she came up to my desk and talked about she needed to lose weight and if I thought she was fat – small talk. She was the first Asian girl I dated and our relationship lasted for several years. 

That first relationship with an Asian woman was hyper-quality relationship for a black man. All we did was cook, eat, did it, go to the park, take weekend trips across the country, do camping, road trip somewhere, go to the café, go bowling, go to Ikea and watch the sistas be mad at me while I’m smiling back at these sistas. We didn’t have to spend a lot of money, we engaged in quality time and conversation and just going out and doing things where the small things mattered the most. 

BTW, the video above – that’s how she looked and carried herself for real – like YeYe.  You know what was awesome? She wasn’t just a “girlfriend” she was a real friend – in fact, she still my friend to this day. That is the one big experience I had taken away from all of the Asian girls I dated in the past 10 years is I finally experienced what real “friendship” was when it comes to a woman. Sistas be wanting to talk “friendzone” crap to a good brotha but I found a true quality friend in most of the Asian women I dated. 

After we moved on from each other, I dated more and more Asian women and the funny thing is it wasn’t like I was trying to come hard at them or she was coming hard at me – we just talked and kicked it off – can’t do that with the sistas nowadays. But all was not perfect as a brotha dating an Asian woman because there was some very cultural shock going on between us. 

First, I don’t eat pork – Asian women love eating some pork cutlets and pork whatever – I’m not cool with that.  Second, when doing it Asian women tend to do a lot of shrieking – I didn’t say screaming I said shrieking and even the neighbors can hear all of that. But the one thing that I had to realize between me as a black man and her is I’m probably more emotional and forgiving of things where some Asian women are cold and unresponsive and avoid addressing tough issues and go hiding. I literally have to track them down and pretend nothing happened and we cool again, even though I still think about what she did.

But there was one thing Asian women did for me that no other woman on this planet, no other group of women I ever met done for me that kept me dating Asian women – they 1000% supported my tech career and my entrepreneurship. They encouraged me, they did homework with me even for Dream and Hustle articles where – I knew I mentioned this several times on this blog over the years my Asian girlfriends were helping me research some of the topics I cover geared toward black folks. That was the dealbreaker there because especially among the sistas I dated, sistas were trying to sabotage my hustle and stopping me or derailing me but it is sad commentary and you know I’m not lying and it is true – it was my Asian girlfriends supporting me to help support other brothas and sistas the past 10 years – that’s the truth no matter who can swallow it or not. 

Today, I’m a better black man and I’m grateful to all of the Asian girlfriends I had the past 10 years. I’m all in Tokyo where the Japanese girls are cool and urban chic and love R&B probably more than you sistas do nowadays. She at the karaoke in Tokyo singing Got to be Real by Cherlyn Lynn – yeah, that’s caliber.  I know you hear that Roy Ayers vibe in the video above. Also do you know in Japan, this video above is a featured Instagram model and look at what she doing in the video. Now look at how we treat our Instagram sistas in our black music videos back here in America.  

In my life, this is the biggest event of the decade and a major milestone of my life was deciding to start dating more than the sistas. I did not appreciate how African-American sistas acted a fool towards not just me but I watch how other good black men who built their life up for the sistas got disappointed to see these sistas celebrating future deadbeat dads and losers and talking that swirling nonsense while trying to downplay the work we good brothas put in to be right man for our woman. 

You know the takeaway? I’m happy and grateful for the experience of dating Asian the past 10 years to open my eyes to see I did not have to put up with what a brotha like me went through. I wish a weirdo feminist sista would come my way worried about who I’m dating – I’ll answer it straight shooter. I never had friendship, never done quality things and never enjoyed myself more than I had dating the 7-8 Asian women I had in my past 10 years, good and bad.  

I will seriously tell every good brotha out there tired of these black-man-hating sistas and sistas chasing trash in the black community – brotha, it is way better options for women around this world that is searching for you just as much as you wishing you was with her – go out in this world and go get her.